As if Favre needed something else to seal his legend.

I can’t remember the last time seven NFL teams started out 3-0.

Maybe never. I suppose I could check, but then why. My point is, it’s interesting. In fact, only one division — the NFC West — does not have an undefeated team at the top. And that’s just weird.

So there’s some disparity in the divisions right now, with several heavies sporting perfection. For now, anyway. That will change next week. But for the time being, here are my rankings for the unbeaten, starting at the bottom:

7.) Denver Broncos. So far, Kyle Orton has looked fairly sharp with no interceptions. But then again, the guy has only thrown the ball 88 times. I think Kurt Warner does that in a half. The Broncs look good early, but they can’t rely on the run forever.

6.) Baltimore Ravens. QB Joe Flacco is an emerging star. Ironically, this team –  typically built on defense - - is giving up lots of points, unless you count the game against the Browns, which I don’t.

5.) Minnesota Vikings. You gotta love Brett Favre, right? Had it been a playoff game, his final pass against San Francisco Sunday would have rivaled Doug Flutie’s Hail Mary in the annals of final plays. Except his pass was actually better. (And let’s not forget the incredible catch by Greg Lewis, making his only grab of the season thus far.) Still, in the long run, Adrian Peterson is this team’s offensive leader.  And that’s good news for the Vikes.

4.) New York Jets. The offense is highly suspect. But on two occasions, the defense has held opponents — including the Patriots — to less than ten points. And you know what they say about defense winning ball games, right? (See 1985 Bears.)

3.) New York Giants. Archie Manning was a pretty decent quarterback in his day, but his true legacy is creating (with his wife, of course)  two of the NFL’s top quarterbacks. Eli Manning is off to a good start, but so far the Giants haven’t had too tough a schedule.

2.) New Orlean Saints. Wow — this offense is on fire. In the first three games, they’ve scored 45, 48 and 27 points. Drew Brees is really coming to as a QB, and they have a diverse ground attack. Looks for these guys to light it up all season.

1.) Indianapolis Colts. Marvin Harrison is gone, but Peyton Manning still has Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark and newcomer Pierre Garcon to look for — and they’re usually open. On defense Dwight Freeney is back to his old form. Against the Cardinals these guys made the NFC champs look like NFC chumps. Could this be the year the Manning brothers go head-to-head in the Super Bowl?

One of these things is not like the others (well more than one, really)

When you think of the Apocalypse do you think of Brad Lidge, Roy Oswalt and Lance Berkman?  Probably not.  Well, maybe the Brad Lidge part is true. But apparently Netflix sees all these things as being fairly similar.  There are a lot of things that I like and several of them are baseball, Netflix, and horror movies.  Now, let’s be clear–probably 75% of all horror movies are bad/terrible/unwatchable but the trailer for Legion (which I think was on before District 9) looked pretty creepy.  I mean that old lady who kills that guy and climbs up on the wall is spooky stuff, am I right?  So while watching the Dodger game today I figured I’d add Legion to my Netflix queue so whenever it’s released onto DVD I’ll be able to give it a spin.  You can imagine my surprise when their search engine spit out this 2005 Houston Astros recommendation as being similar.  And don’t even get me started on the Meatloaf movie and its three-star rating.  Recommendation Fail.

Is it me or does it seem like the Yankees and Red Sox play each other, like, 60 times during the regular season?

Seriously. Every time I tune into ESPN, they’re announcing their next game — and it’s the freakin’ Yankees and Red Sox!

Am I crazy here? The Yankees schedule at the beginning of the season must look something like this:

@ Boston
@ Boston
@ Boston
@ Boston
v. Boston
v. Boston
v. Boston (DH)
@ Seattle
@ Boston
@ Boston
@ Boston
@ Boston
v. Baltimore (5 innings only)
v. Boston
v. Boston
v. Boston
Playoffs:
TBA (but probably v. Boston)

Mason Jennings, Your Voice Sounds Like a Mix Between Fergie and Jesus

Saturday night found the Mexicutioner, Mrs. Mexicutioner, Jess and myself at the El Rey in West LA at a Mason Jennings show.  While he will never be as popular as his former tour-mate Jack Johnson, Mason’s incredible songwriting and easy appeal make him the (vastly, and it’s not even close) superior of the two.  This is the third time I’ve seen Mason, which ties him with Lagwagon and Face to Face (RIP.  Just kidding.  You’re still alive I guess) for bands I’ve seen the most often.  And if you’re wondering why Mason’s name is familiar it’s probably because of his famous “Make yourself at home/ Cos I’m going out/ Across the street to get us some water” song from what will always be my favorite surf movie “Shelter”.  With his new album “Blood of Man” bumping on our drive down and some semi-dodgy directions we did our best to arrive late and miss the opener but despite our best efforts we still arrived twenty minutes before the show started–nothing a $7 cup of beer Bug Light won’t fix though, right?

Mason’s new album is probably both the darkest and heaviest he’s released to date which may not be much in the grand scheme of dark/heavy music (this is the guy whose [arguably] best known songs are called “Butterfly” and “Darkness Between the Fireflies” so we’re not exactly talking about “Raining Blood” by Slayer) but when the good Lord has blessed you with a voice like Mason’s, songs like “Pittsburgh” and “The Field” have an incredible weight to them.  Mixing in older favorites like the harmonica-driven “Crown” and my personal favorite “Hospitals and Jails” with almost the entire new album, Mason played a solid, if a bit understated, ninety-minutes.  The amiable and good naturedness he has always displayed in the past was kept mostly in check and he shared only a few stories with the thousand or so of us there.  While I would have loved to have seen him end the show with either “Ulysses” or the crazy acoustic-electric version of “Bulls on Parade” that I saw him bust out in San Francisco I won’t complain about anything except again to mention if you are standing in the pit area shut your mouth when the artist is singing.  Go make out with your chick or talk about your facebook page by the bar.  Is that so hard to do?

There are few things as rewarding as seeing a singer like Mason Jennings (and his band, of course); so often we’re confronted by repetitive, mindless garbage it’s easy to forget that songs can be stories and certain singers can evoke images so real that you can almost feel them first hand.  Even if you’ve never camped out on a rocky beach, stepped quietly through Big Sur, chased ghosts through New Orleans or hitchhiked through the Midwest, Mason’s music will make you feel like you have.  Plus, chicks dig it.  So there’s that too.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here.

No, actually — it’s not a limb. In fact – here, I’ll just say it: Peyton Manning is the best quarterback ever.

Period. ‘Nuf said.

Yeah, I know — it always seems like the current players are the best. And, yeah, let’s not forget the greats:. To name a few: Namath, Bradshaw, Unitas, Marino. I know about all those guys. I do. And they were all great. Led their teams to victories — Super Bowls even.

But have you ever seen a QB lead a team to as many come-from-behind victories as Manning? And not just come-from-behind victories, but dramatic ones. Games with 21-point deficits. Games where the team was WAY down in the FOURTH QUARTER.

Now, of course, you’re thinking, well, why did the dude let his team get behind that much to begin with? But I dismiss this line of argument. Because what counts is the end result. And when so many players would give up, Manning seems to thrive when he’s behind with little time on the clock. And if he’s way behind, well — that’s fixable.

Remember that playoff game against New England when the Colts were down by three touchdowns? Can you imagine being down 21 points to the PATRIOTS? And then calmly dismantling their defense slowly but surely until victory has been secured?

Yeah, Tom Brady is good. He’s real good. Sometimes he’s MVP good. But he’s no P. Manning. When the Colts were down against Miami tonight with three minutes left, I thought: “It’s over.” But not for the Colts — for the Dolphins. Because as long as Manning has the ball late, odds are he’s going to do something.

How often can you be that sure of a guy?

Vin Scully -- one of the greats in the booth.

So I had a good time at Dodger Stadium yesterday. Got to see a grand slam, back-to-back bombs and even Tommy Lasorda, if you count seeing the top of his head from, like, 20 rows up as actually seeing Tom Lasorda.

Anyway, I’m a big fan of going out to the ballpark — can’t get those Dodger Dogs at home, ya know — but I have to say I did wish I could hear Vin Scully somehow. BSlim sort of stole my thunder the other day when he mentioned the need for real journalists doing the sports talking, and I wanted to second that.

First of all — Slim’s right: Why so many freakin’ guys on every NFL panel? Watching eight guys at a desk, I feel uncomfortable for the guys trying to get a word in. Then I’m disappointed when they do.

I mean, I like Bradshaw. Collinsworth. And in baseball I’m a fan of Joe Morgan and Steve Stone. But really — the greatest announcers have always been non-jocks. And there’s a reason for that: JOCKS ARE DUMB.

Okay, not always. I mean, Tony LaRussa has a law degree, for crying out loud. (I sure hope we get HIM in the booth some day.) Still . . . the greatest announcers were announcers first and foremost: Scully, Harry Carray, Ernie Harwell, Marv Albert, Howard Cosell (Yes, Howard Cossell), Jon Miller — I could go on, so I will: Brent Musburger, Al Michaels, Chris Berman, Bob Costas. Yeah, I know some of those guys annoy you. But so what — they’re good. They’re the real voices of sports. And they don’t (didn’t) just regurgitate cliches and sentence fragments.

I mean, seriously — have you tried watching an Angels game on TV? Painful.

Some ex-jocks can be articulate. I like Rick Sutcliffe. Sometimes I find myself not hating Bill Walton.  And Pat Summerall and John Madden were terrific. But far more ex-jocks are like Tim McCarver than Bob Uecker. 

Seems like there’s more former jocks in the broadcast booth these days, and it’s sad. But I guess that kind of jibes with the direction of the country right now. We prefer the louder, less intelligent voices to softer but more analytical ones.

Injuries are the real X-factor, just ask Tom Brady (last year), Wes Welker (Sunday) and the Patriots.

Injuries are killing me, literally.

Donavan McNabb, Matt Cassel, LaDainian Tomlinson, all sidelined this week on my fantasy football squad, which begs the question: why did I give in and play this season?

But all those injuries are just the tip of the neck-pain iceberg this week, considering I was rear ended at a stoplight on the way to work Thursday … hit so hard it rammed my sick-ass 1997 Nissan Sentra into the back of the 2009 Mustang in front of me.

Total damage to my car? $2,500.

How much my car is worth? Probably not $2,500.

Total damage to the car who hit me? Well, a $5 license plate frame broke, but that was about it.

Total damage to the car in front of me? Don’t even want to know.

Jacked up back/neck and a doctor who doesn’t accept your auto insurance claim? Priceless.

Yep, it’s been one of those weeks.

But at least I get to milk this little whiplash thing for the weekend, loungin’ around the house in the lazyboy, enjoying some college football until … bam! the Washington Huskies blindside me again with a 16-13 win over third-ranked USC.

Not that I should’ve been surprised an injury affected the outcome of that one, too.

USC starting quarterback Matt Barkley, who a week earlier orchestrated the game-winning drive against Ohio State and had me claiming USC would be in the BCS Championship Game, missed the game with a shoulder injury – which made his throwing motion look hideous during warm-ups by the way. So this is serious business for the Trojans, who must now run the table if they have any shot of leaping past Florida or Texas to get back in that title picture.

Barkley’s replacement, Aaron Corp, was almost as hideous as Barkley’s jacked up throwing motion Saturday, going 13 of 22 for 110 yards, 0 TDs and 1 INT. Brutal.

It was the worst passing performance in the Pete Carroll era as the Trojans also managed to get skunked on each and every one of their 10 third-down conversion attempts. Nice. 0-for! The Trojans!

Injuries are the real X-Factor in sports. And if you don’t believe that, watch what happens to Philly and San Diego this weekend without their big guns. And keep a close eye on my Florida Gators while you’re at it. Injuries to LB Brandon Spikes, not to mention concerns over a Swine Flue outbreak, have the Gators in “panic” mode.

Yep, there goes my BCS prediction, not to mention my insurance premium, thanks to injuries.

Ugh, my head hurts. Someone get me some HGH.

LA to face either Phillies or Cards...6 of one, half-dozen of the other?

There’s no positive spin you can put on this.  Going into the season (and even at the All-Star break) Billingsley and Kershaw were the two horses the Dodgers were going to rely on once they reached the Postseason.  Now?  Yikes.  If the season were to end today I believe they’d play Saint Louis in the first round (the Rockies would win the Wild Card and play the team with the best record which would be the Dodgers but they’d have to play a team outside of their division so they would draw the Phillies) and would face not only a team that has killed them head-to-head this season but they’d also be looking at Carpenter, Wainwright and Pineiro who are a combined 74-6 or something like that.  By contrast the Dodgers best three pitchers at the moment are Wolf, Kuroda and….Garland?  Padilla?  Seriously I don’t even know who their third best pitcher is but I know for sure that it is NOT Chad Billingsley.  I liked bringing him out of the bullpen last night but it looks to me like he’s not necessarily unsure of his stuff, he’s just flat out gassed.

We saw this a few years ago with Brad Penny having an absolute meltdown the last few months of the season while the team grinded towards October.  So, without any real chance against the Cards I am all for throwing a few wins away and sacrificing home field advantage if it means we get to play Philadelphia.  Not that Lee and Hamels are schlubs but at least it’s a team the Dodgers have played to a standstill this season and a team that leans pretty heavily to the left-side, meaning even a less-than-perfect Kershaw could have some success before turning the ball over to lefty-killers Kuo and Sherrill.  Do I necessarily like that approach?  No.  Do I like it better than facing Saint Louis?  Yes.  And as we all know, I am never wrong.

This is more like it.

Some times I can be such a woman.

Like, remember that time I wrote about how unbent visors annoy me?

What the hell was that all about?

And then that time I wrote about stirrups?

I’m a PC kinda guy and all, but back when I was in school, any guy writing about socks would clearly be called g-a-y.  And in southern Indiana, that wasn’t exactly a hip thing.

But get this — it doesn’t stop there. I also wrote about guys in baseball who pull their pant legs down.

How does a sports blog take itself seriously when writing so much about fashion?  I mean – seriously? Reading this blog is getting to be like watching “The Devil Wears Prada” minus that hot chick, Anne What’s Her Face. (BTW, her boss was such a bitch! OMG!!!)

But here’s the thing: I really, really want to say something about the New England Patriots’s uniforms.

I know, I know — that stuff I said earlier. But still. Did you see highlights from the game over the weekend? The Pats, wearing their old school uniforms, making Tom Brady look like Steve Grogan?

Those uniforms rock, man! For years now, we’ve been stuck with those hideous, USFL-looking things the Patriots wear. And because they’ve been succesful with them, and dumb jock-types are superstitious, they’ll probably stay with them.

And it’s not just the Patriots.  I’ll take Tampa Bay’s old helmets – even with its sissy colors — over the current ones any day.  Those things look like rejects from the Euro NFL. Remember that? Rejects from the U.S. playing football in soccer stadiums?

I could go on, but with each line I feel my masculinity diminishing a little.  But I’ll just conclude by saying that when I was a kid and I got those little plastic helmets from the bubble gum machine, the Patriots’s was my favorite. I dare say it made me proud to be an American, except that in reality it didn’t.

I heart L.A. - Minus the 405, smog and no NFL.

So Ryantific and I spent the weekend at WordCamp L.A., trying to improve this blog for our West Coast peeps, and in the process, missed nearly the entire opening weekend of the NFL.

But since L.A. doesn’t have a team, who cares, right?

Think again … L.A.’s got USC, and when you got them Trojans, what more do you need? Since there was no WordCamp Ohio this weekend, watching them break the Buckeyes’ backs in L.A. was the next best thing.

Sorry SweaterVest, you can’t give Pete Carroll a whole offseason to prepare for you and expect to pull out a win … even if it’s at The Shoe, against a freshman quarterback.

Here’s to USC-Florida for the title in January.

Only other thing we were bummed to miss was Kobe Bryant, who ate at the IHOP near LMU a day before we did apparently. Sources close to the Bias said he ate Jameer Nelson, Mickael Pietrus and J.J. Redick for breakfast. Even double tweeted checked my sources, take notes ESPN, and it looks like it was the second time in a week that Kobe hit up the IHOP … he’s probably just bummed the A-town Denny’s went out of business.

Back to the topic at hand, after watching highlights of all the NFL action, and the two better than expected Monday night games, here are my takeaways from conference weekend:

-          NFL might want to rethink throwback unis, and get the teams to wear different colored helmets. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out two teams wearing white helmets is going to cause some confusion. Case in point: Tom Brady getting pick sixed. When does that happen?

-          Speaking of the Brady Bunch, how slow is he now after that knee injury, not that the bulky, 20-ounce brace of his helps. But I bet that thing doesn’t squeak like RK’s when he runs. At the same time, I bet RK coulda outrun Suzy Kolber’s postgame interview like Brady was unable to do tonight.

-          Kolber showed off her wheels, but the rest of ESPN’s crew still sucked. Seriously, how many jocks can you guys fit in the box? How about bringing on some journalists for once, so we don’t have to listen to Mike & Mike & Steve butcher player names all night.

-          And Jaws and Chucky weren’t much better in the early game. Tarico made a reference to Tom Brady being the 199th pick in the 2000 NFL Draft, to which Jon Gruden made the wisecrack, “I guess 198 were better.” If memory serves me correctly J.G., you were in Oakland for that draft, correct? I guess burning your first pick on a kicker and closing things out with DT Junior Ioane, P Shane Lechler, FB Mondriel Fulcher and S Clifton Black wasn’t much better.

-          Speaking of the Raiders. Silver + Black = undisciplined. That was the difference tonight.

-          Officials and video replay are also killing the game. The Raiders were robbed by a touchdown because of the replay and the Bills got hosed by the “Brady” (i.e. QBs are soft) rule twice.

-          Speaking of soft, Terrell Owens might be with the Bills, but he’s not on the team (mentally), you could see that on the bench all night. The T.O. show doesn’t have any co-stars, and dude was going through the motions again. 0 catches in the first half. Nice debut.

-          One last thing we missed: RIP 2-Pac, 13 years later.