Donaghy enters witness-protection program as Joey Crawford

WCBias.com has learned disgraced NBA referee Tim Donaghy has entered a witness-protection program after receiving mob-issued death threats for his cooperation with authorities in an underground betting scandal.

Donaghy, believed to have bet on over 100 NBA games, will be sentenced in July on gambling and wire-fraud charges. He faces 25 years in prison, but WCBias.com has learned Donaghy is already wearing stripes.

According to sources close to the situation, Donaghy’s witness-protection program has him back officiating in the NBA – the last place in the world anyone would expect to see him.

Donaghy shaved his head and has taken on a new identity, going by the name Joey Crawford.

The plan has worked like a charm so far as Donaghy has blown call after call, got in an on-court squabble with Spurs coach Gregg Popovich and failed to blow his whistle in the waning seconds of Game 4 when Brent Barry was clearly fouled by Derek Fisher. A foul call would’ve put Barry (a 95% shooter) at the line with a chance to send the game into overtime.

But instead of blowing his whistle, Donaghy decided to swallow it, just like Crawford would have. Late Wednesday, the NBA even sent out a statement admitting Crawford blew the call and that Barry should’ve gone to the line for a one-and-one.

Donaghy’s impersonation of Crawford has been so outstanding, Jack Nicholson is hoping to meet with him after tonight’s Game 5 in hopes of having him audition for the starring role in his upcoming film about the life of Pete Rose entitled “Charlie the Hustler and Degenerate Gambler.”

How do you have a job Joey Crawford and you TNT hacks?

I love Charles Barkley, but before Tuesday’s game he said something stupid again.

Sir Charles said, repeatedly, that Joey Crawford officiating this game “isn’t a story.”
Well, if it wasn’t a story before the game, it sure became one afterward.

But I don’t want to ride just Barkley, because Marv the Perv and Collins the Crappy Coach (15-23 in the playoffs) sucked even more during the play-by-play portion of the broadcast. Collins, AN EX-COACH OF MJ – didn’t even realize the shot clock hadn’t reset on the Lakers’ final possession when Derek Fisher “air balled” (another call the refs probably blew) a shot in the waning seconds.

So when the Lakers got the ball back after it ricocheted off a Spurs player, the fans had no idea Kobe Bryant was going to jack up that quick, off-balanced shot that fell short (unless you were watching the miniscule shot clock in the corner like my boy Ryantific).

Then, on the next possession, TNT’s dynamite duo failed to mention if the Lakers were in the penalty, which left more questions than answers when the final horn sounded and Brent Barry’s desperation three shanked off the backboard after an apparent foul by Fisher.

And neither commentator even bothered to bring up the previous history Joey Crawford and the Spurs had, even though this hack blogger has been writing about that “isn’t a story” storyline since the Phoenix-San Antonio series. (If it’s not a big deal, why did Crawford and Gregg Popovich have that on-court squabble during the conference semifinals, with Popovich throwing Crawford’s hand away when the ref shoved his index finger into the coach’s sternum).

And wasn't it Crawford who was involved in another off-court issue involving NBA referees in 1998 when he was one of eight zebras charged with filing false income taxes?

Dear David Stern, why are you opening yourself up to another officiating scandal? If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times. Fire the dude or banish him to the Eastern Conference Finals.

Someone in the mainstream media finally asked Stern about the Crawford-Spurs beef last week when the commish was on Rome is Burning.

Rome: Should (Crawford) have been in that series (Western Conference semis)?

Stern: When I have a referee that I can’t assign to a series then I don’t have a referee.

Rome: You couldn’t have put him in another series just to avoid that (conflict)?

Stern: I have to put a referee in the rotation. We can’t do that. If a referee can’t referee a game then he can’t referee.

Well David, it's becoming quite clear Joey can't referee. Crawford, as luck would have it Tuesday, was in fact the official who swallowed his whistle on that final play, when Barry was clearly fouled by Fisher after the up fake. You know if Kobe made that pump fake, he would’ve got the call. Heck, RK’s boy Sasha Vujacic got a whistle on a three-pointer toward the end of the third quarter … and at least Barry has a last name. But "he didn't sell it," another TNT brainiac, Reggie Miller, pointed out after the game. Hey Reggie, when did NBA players become used car salesmen. I guess he should have had a "full steam of head," too.

The only question that remained was whether Barry was fouled on the shot (continuation goes a long way in the NBA) or on the floor. Either way, Barry should’ve been at the line with two free throws (that was the fifth foul on the Lakers) to tie or three to win (if that last foul came on the shot). I thought it was a one-and-one, myself.

Then again, Fisher’s last shot likely hit the rim at the other end and should have reset the shot clock and put an end to that last Spurs’ attempt to win or tie it.
And if you watched the entire game, it was obvious the Spurs didn’t deserve to win this one and never led for a reason.
They were outrebounded 46-37. And they got seven points from Ginobili on 2-of-8 shooting.

Defense and guard play, y’all.

Maybe that’s why both Popovich and Barry took the high road after the loss, saying (although I doubt they believe what they were saying) that it was a good no call in the end.

"That's not going to get called in the Western Conference finals," Barry said. "Maybe in the regular season. But that call shouldn't be called in the Western Conference finals."

Spurs coach Gregg Popovich said: "If I was the official, I wouldn't have called that a foul."

If you were that official, you would’ve have thrown Tim Duncan out of a game for laughing or challenged him to a fight either.

Say it with me people, "Hey Joey Crawford and you TNT hacks, how do you have a job?"

Where Laughing Doesn't Happen

Here’s the second installation of WCBias.com’s spoof on the NBA’s “There Can Only Be One” slash “Where Amazing Happens” campaign, focusing on another controversial NBA referee, Joey Crawford, who was reinstated this season after reportedly challenging Tim Duncan to a fight a year ago and ejecting the Spurs star from a game for, get this, laughing on the bench. Despite his history with Duncan, Crawford was allowed to officiate the Spurs’ series against the Suns, which I wrote about extensively here.