The Best Team You've Never Seen

When ESPN was showing Yankees-Red Sox games and highlights ad nauseum last week, a friend of mine asked a great question:

How many times have the Angels been on TV this season?

Luckily for SoCal baseball fans, the Halos are on FSN on a regular basis – but as for the rest of the country, the best team in baseball is an unknown.
Yes, the Angels were on ESPN on Monday night (thanks to the fact they were playing in Boston), but the boys from Anaheim are getting nowhere near the national exposure the Yankees or Red Sox are getting.
While Boston deserves a majority of the nationally televised games as the defending champions, the Yankees don't exactly merit "Game of the Week" as a third-place team in the AL East that would be eight games back of Anaheim if they played in the West.
But, according to MLB’s national broadcast schedule, the Yankees have at least 20 nationally televised games this season. The Red Sox have 22, and the Angels have 13 nationally televised contests – well, make that eight if you discount the games against Boston (3) and New York (2).
In fact, the Angels aren’t scheduled to play on ESPN again during the regular season. Maybe ESPN will change its plans, maybe not. But as it stands right now, you better beef up that cable package, get MLB.tv, or tune into FOX Aug. 2 and 9 when the Halos play the Bronx Bombers, because you might not see these guys play again until the postseason – when you might just watch them play well into October.

* * *

Oh yeah, and the Halos are flirting with no-hitters with John Lackey and adding punch to their lineup with first baseman Mark Teixeira from the Atlanta Braves. Teixeira, once everyone learns how to spell his name right (i before e except after t and x, what the heck?), could be a huge piece of the puzzle as the Angels gear up for this stretch run. I think the best stat I’ve seen about Teixeira in all the trade stories is this – over the past 162 regular-season games, only Philly’s Ryan Howard has more RBIs.
Said Teixeira in a teleconference call after the trade:

"The Angels have always been one of the best teams in the American League. … I just want to hopefully get them over the top. I'm not going to make any predictions."

Pop goes the ESPY Awards

Teenie Boppers rejoice! Boy Band Badass (if that’s not an oxymoron, I don’t know what is) Justin Timberlake is hosting the ESPYs on Sunday!
OMG! JT ON ESPN!
I guess ESPN has given up on its current demographic, young, affluent, male sports nuts between the ages of 18 and 34, and is trying to boost its ratings in the 8- to 12-year-old Barbie Doll demographic.
MUST B F8!
Not that dudes aren’t going to want to watch Alpha Dog Does Sports.
JT A QT!
Nobody’s name resonates with sports fans like Justin Timberlake.
IDUNNO?
Where are the Jonas Brothers, Zac Efron and Corbin Bleu when you need ’em? Maybe they’ll be in Timberlake’s red carpet posse.
RUOK WCB?
Why not go with someone (I’d say actor, but have you seen Alpha Dog?) who’s actually been in a sports flick? A Jamie Foxx, Billy Crystal, Will Ferrell, heck even Whoopi Goldberg has been in a sports movie.
Not that Shrek 3 wasn’t a hoot.
ZZZZZ
But when Mr. N*Stynk starts making wisecracks about T.O. or Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson, is anyone really going to laugh or take Britney’s old Boy Toy serious? Or will Pacman Jones just bust a cap on Alpha Doggy Dog and leave him crying again like he’s on an episode of Punk’d.
LOL :-)
Having Timberlake do the ESPYs is what the kids these days call WOMBAT -- a waste of money, brains and time.
Plus everyone who won has already been announced. The ESPYs actually took place on Wednesday and are being tape delayed until this weekend. Thanks for saving me the trouble of watching ESPN*Sync.
2GD2BTRU!

Say It Ain't So, Bill. Say It Ain't So.

I think you can make a pretty good case that Bill Simmons changed sports journalism. Sure, there have been plenty of authors out there who have written books with more journalistic cred than "Now I Can Die in Peace" but you can't tell me there aren't a whole legion of bloggers, journalists and assorted columnists who wouldn't kill to have a following like ESPN's The Sports Guy. Week after week for the past four-ish years Simmons has turned out (almost without fail) at least 2 columns per week for ESPN, as well as assorted chats and mailbags. That may be coming to a close.

About six months ago Simmons posted a note saying he was going to cut back to only one article every week so he could work on his new book, a stomach-punch moment for those of us trapped at work for 8+ hours per day with nothing better to do than pray for an unannounced Sports Guy chat. After looking at his emails to Deadspin it sounds like he may be about ready to pull the plug on Page 2; his most recent article is actually posted here, on his own blog.

Could ESPN let him walk? This isn't some middling columnist, this is Bill Freaking Simmons. The guy who gave us Mount Rapmore. The guy who gave us The Annual NBA Trade Value column. I mean, this is the guy who gave us The Vengeance Scale, which offered such gems as:

"Onto the Vengeance Scale, from 0.0 (least vengeful) to 10.0 (most vengeful). And remember, the whole reason we're doing this is to figure out where Angry Shaq fits in. Anyway ...

0.0 -- Rocky Balboa beating up Tommy Gunn.

(Note: This was disqualified because "Rocky 5" never happened.)

0.1 -- O.J. Simpson's valiant attempt to find the "real killers."

--SNIP--

3.7 -- Babe Ruth vowing revenge against the Red Sox (possibly apocryphal).

3.8 -- Piazza tipping off all of Clemens' pitches in the 2004 All-Star game (possibly apocryphal).

3.9 -- Babe Ruth's ghost sending Pedro to the DL in 2001, just days after Pedro's "Wake up the damn Bambino and have him face me -- maybe I'll drill him in the ass" comment (possibly apocryphal).

4.0 -- Daniel LaRusso somehow toppling all of Cobra Kai in one karate tournament (possibly apocryphal).

--SNIP--
6.9 -- Mel Gibson in every "Lethal Weapon" movie ... George Brett charging the umpire during the Pine Tar Game ... Forrest Whitaker's first football game after his car was trashed (from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High").
--SNIP--

8.2 -- Andy Dufresne escaping from Shawshank through a sewage pipe, setting up the Warden and Hadley on his way out, then escaping to Mexico.

(Reader Red explains: "Andy crawled to freedom through 500 yards of s--- -smelling foulness I can't even imagine. Or maybe I just don't want to. 500 yards. That's the length of five football fields. Just shy of half a mile . . . when I think of him heading south in his own car with the top down, it always makes me laugh. Andy Dufresne, who crawled through a river of s--- and came out clean on the other side. Andy Dufresne, headed for the Pacific.")"

And roughly 10,000 other columns. Yes, he writes about the NBA too much. Yes, he is an unabashed Boston homer and thinks KG should have been the MVP this year. Yes, he makes too many pop culture references to Road Rules & Real World (who watches MTV over the age of 16?) but he has been the most reliable good read out there, bar none. He has launched armies of impersonators but nobody has done what he does better.