Crowded at the Top

Behind a truly dominating performance by an absolutely filthy Hideki Kuroda, your Los Angeles Dodgers are now tied atop the NL West. It wasn't exactly how we planned it, hasn't exactly been beautiful but it's nice to be looking down on the rest of the division (and looking sideways at Arizona).

Great win tonight featuring two defensive gems (both made the Web Gem list on BBTN) courtesy of DeWitt's ridiculous barehand pickup and throw in the 7th to keep the perfecto intact and an insane play deep in the hole by Berroa to start the 9th (despite the great play you know your 6 hole is shaky when Angel Berroa is your defensive replacement for Nomar Garciaparra) but the real story was obviously Kuroda's bid for immortality.

Big night at the Ravine which probably would have been a little more memorable had our power not gone out for the 5th day in a row courtesy of the Gap Fire in the fourth inning, forcing me to go old school and turn on Jessica's old-ass battery powered radio. Jessica was also pretty excited about the evening, managing to stay awake all the way to the third inning. Nice having you, Jess.

Dodgers-Giants Recap

The Dodgers managed to take 2 out of 3 from the Giants, falling to the mighty Barry Zero and then coming back today and jumping all over Matt Cain. Baseball makes no sense sometimes. Actually, most of the time. Few notes from the Dodger games:

• Batting Matt Kemp lead-off is effective: he reached 6 times (2 steals) and looks more selective at the plate.
• Saito is not a shut-down closer anymore.
• Hung Chih-Kuo is flat out dirty.
• Giant fans will take any excuse they can get to chant "BEAT LA".
• B Zito is not quite dead yet.
• Furcal is never, ever, ever going to play again.
• Nomar scares me at short.
• I'm not scared of the Padres, Rockies or Giants at this point and only like 61% scared of the D-Backs.
• 1/2-game back, baby.

NL WEST	W	L	PCT	GB	HOME	ROAD	RS	RA
Arizona	44	45	.494	-	27-19	17-26	393	390
LA Dodgers	43	45	.489	.5	22-20	21-25	365	356
San Francisco	39	50	.438	5	17-28	22-22	367	408
Colorado	37	52	.416	7	25-21	12-31	402	471
San Diego	35	54	.393	9	21-26	14-28	329	416

Welcome back Andruw!

Andruw . . . has it really been so long? Welcome back, big fella. Looks like you've picked up right where you left off, huh? 0-for-5 with 4 Ks? Must have been some sort of rehab assignment to get back in game shape so quickly. Luckily, the Beefcake had another big day and the Dodgers rallied thanks to some shaky Giants D and horrid relief pitching.

You know what's concerning? Big Jon Broxton continues to be a high-wire act and only a lucky double-play ball off the bat of the Artist Formerly Known As Rich Aurilia kept the damage to one run. Dan Haren and the D-Backs take on the Pads tonight at the BOB, so we'll have to hold our noses and root, root, root for the Madres. Happy 4th everyone.

With Friends Like These...

Well, looks like the NL West is ours now. All you other teams might as well start waving your white flags and preparing for 2009. Hello postseason.

Mini Update

So the fires and the power outages have got me down but I was able to go old school and catch the tail end of the Dodger game on a battery powered radio last night. Another good result for the club and Kuroda was downright dirty. I'm putting together some All-Star Game and NL vs. AL thoughts and should have that post up this weekend. Big ups to the firefighters and Baldo in particular, keep it real brother. And try to keep my cable from going out again, will you? Dodgers are now only 1.5 behind the D-Backs, and the whole NL West is now officially under .500. Gross.

Freeway Series Comes to a Close

Yesterday I saw some kid rocking a Dodgers shirt and Angles hat while I was out walking my dog, apparently the only person in Santa Barbara with conflicted feelings about the Freeway Series. In any event, the Angles returned the 1-0 favor to the Dodgers today, blanking Joe Torre's crew behind yet another phenomenal performance by John Lackey. Go on ahead and take a look at the Angles' BP page, how dirty are those top 3 starters? A combined VORP of over 66? Sick.

We find ourselves in what has become our default position, firmly entrenched at 2.5 games behind the D-Backs and 5 games under .500. Own it. Also ESPN has done a nice job of including the run differential for the mathematically challenged...one could be an optimist and say the Dodgers should have a better record than they do based on the positive differential, if one were so inclined. Good God the Madres are bad.

WEST	W	L	PCT	GB	RS	RA	DIFF	STRK	L10
Arizona	41	41	.500	-	366	359	+7	Lost 1	3-7
LA Dodgers	38	43	.469	2.5	331	328	+3	Lost 1	5-5
San Francisco	36	46	.439	5	335	372	-37	Won 2	5-5
Colorado	32	50	.390	9	341	417	-76	Lost 7	2-8
San Diego	32	51	.386	9.5	302	390	-88	Lost 8	1-9

sports sports sports sports sports

I haven't blogged since Wednesday and I forget how to do this. How do you do hyperlinks? How do I upload pictures? It's like I have to retrain myself on everything all over again. I got buried at work Thursday and Friday and then yesterday I ended up swimming at Red Rock for the majority of the day and if it weren't for a call from G Slim I would have missed the last inning of the Dodger game last night. Good thing he called too as you don't see many no-hit-but-win-anyway-wins. As Tim Kurkjian pointed out on BBTN immediately after the game ended, it wasn't officially a no-no since you've got to go a full nine to qualify for immortality but it was still cool and Chavez was rocking.

The Euro Cup comes to a close today at 11:30, so be sure to tap into your inner football fan and tune in.

Also time is running out to vote for the All-Star game, make sure you get your picks in before Tuesday. Yes, the AL is leading the NL in interleague matchups once again this year but go and look at your all-star options and tell me the NL doesn't have better talent. Note: I voted for Soriano assuming he would be back from his injury and didn't vote for Ortiz for the opposite reason.
My votes:
AL Starters NL Starters Advantage
C: Joe Mauer C: Russ Martin Push
1B: Jason Giambi 1B: Lance Berkman NL
2B: Ian Kinsler 2B: Chase Utley NL
3B: Alex Rodriguez 3B: Chipper Jones AL
SS: Mike Young SS: Hanley Ramirez NL
OF: J Hamilton, M Ordonez, Ichiro OF : R Braun, Holliday, Soriano Push

While the AL will undoubtedly beat the NL yet again in the All-Star Game what this little list won't show you is HOW BAD SOME OF THOSE AL OPTIONS ARE. The first basemen in the AL are atrocious and the SS position is probably the weakest thing I have ever seen. Also the D-Rays are probably going to be woefully under-represented and you COULD make a good case for Navarro as the starting catcher, Upton and Crawford in the outfield and Kazmir on the mound. Probably not going to happen but what a tremendous story.

CWS Winner To Be Crowned Tonight

Big game from the Big O tonight--go home sick, take a half-day, do whatever you've got to do to catch Georgia take on Fres-YES at 4:00 today (ESPN). Last night's game saw a redonkulous amount of metal-bat-powered offense including a total of 29 runs, 35 hits but shockingly only two home runs. That's a lot of action on the bases.

In the Bigs, Lowe got roughed up by the White Sox and the Dodgers remain 4 games behind Arizona.

Tuesdays Suck

To recap some of our items from yesterday:

The Fresno State-Georgia game was nothing short of amazing as Gordon Beckham, the 8th overall pick of the Amateur Draft (White Sox), hit a two run bomb in the bottom of the eighth, keying a four-run rally and giving Georgia a 8-7 win. Gordon also made a terrific play in the top-half of the inning to kill Fresno State’s rally by snagging a line shot and applying a diving tag on some fool who’d wandered too far off of second base. He still looks like Steven Drew v. 2.0 to me but the kid can obviously play. A-Town’s Ryan Overland also hit a jack. Big day in the Big O, Game Two is this afternoon on ESPN.

Tell me you didn’t drive to work today with “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes” in your head. Amazing that Fu-Schnickens never made it big.
And finally, the NBA Draft is Thursday — probably my favorite not-an-actual-sport-but-related-to-a-sport-nevertheless, Rose and Beasley are a lock for 1 and 2 (probably in that order) but after that it’s looking thin like Manute Bol.

Things to do Today

Here are a few updates to get your Monday started right, if there is such a thing:

First off, big game in Omaha tonight as Fresno State takes on Georgia in the Battle of the Bulldogs as the Championship round kicks off in the CWS (ESPN2 at 4:00 PST). Omaha may well be somewhere in the middle of America but outside of Bright Eyes and Saddle Creek Records in general, this is about the best that they have to offer so enjoy it before it’s gone.

Secondly, HUGE HUGE news here that NOBODY saw coming. Too…many…jokes…all…running…through…brain…at…same…time…
Third, the Dodgers managed to play the Indians tough over the weekend but were lucky to walk away with only one win. The silver lining is the Snakes were swept by the Twins and the Dodgers gained a game; LA now sits three games back and like Joe T said, the door is wide open in the West.

Dead and Burried

According to Dos Equis’ “Most Interesting Man in the World” it’s never too early to start thinking about your obituary. With that in mind, I’m going to write about the demise of the 2008 Dodgers, even though it’s only mid-June.

After being swept by the Tigers and dropping their last 5 straight, the woeful Dodgers have fallen 5.5 behind the stunningly mediocre Diamondbacks and look absolutely dead in the water. There’s no real mystery to the team’s struggles either—they’re currently 22nd in the league in runs per game and 25th in defensive efficiency. Russell Martin, the only Dodger playing worth a damn, is surrounded by a few guys who are essentially league-average players (Loney and the Beefcake) and a bunch of stiffs. The prolonged absence of Furcal has crippled the Dodger “attack” and exposed us all to the offensive black hole combo of Berroa and Hu. Furcal, who has been out for more than a month (and figures to not play until after the ASB) is TIED for the team lead in runs scored (with Martin) with 34. Take a second and wrap you brain around that.

From a pitching standpoint, Brad Penny has flat out sucked this season. No other way to put that. Scot Proctor has also been a silent killer, matching Penny’s negative value on the mound. What is sickening is that the Dodgers’ best pitcher has been reliever Hong-Chih Kuo, who Torre seems inclined to use only in mop-up duty and blowouts. Meanwhile in a tight ballgame he has no qualms about ushering in Proctor who is currently sporting hideous numbers out of the bullpen. Does Torre have these stats on hand? Who is his computer tutor, John McCain?
So what to do? I’ll tell you what not to do: trade Kemp. The Dodgers aren’t winning this year so don’t get rid of a guy for a half-season rental of Jason Bay or Adam Dunn, they’re not making a difference and besides, is ANOTHER outfielder really the answer? Haven’t we been down this road before? Play LaRoche at third (or even second if/when Kent needs a day off) and prepare for 2009.

Like You Need Another Reason to Start Drinking

I spent the better part of today thinking of Dodger Drinking Games. Why? Because I was at work, that's why. The following are the best that I could come up with, along with pictures of how you will probably look if you play.

1. Every time Matt Kemp strikes out, drink.

2. Every time you think about packing in the season and becoming an Angels fan, take a drink.

3. Every time a runner is left in scoring position, drink.

4. Every time you go to the waiver wire to see which free agent pitchers are going against the Dodgers the next day so you can spot start them in your fantasy league, drink.

5. Every time Scott Proctor puts the leadoff man on, drink.

6. And finally...every time the Dodgers score a run, drink.

An Obvious Excuse to Look at Anna Kournikova Pictures on the Internet

I have a question for you: how bad are you at your job? Go on ahead and think about that for a second.

Chances are pride got in the way of your objectivity and you started thinking you're actually pretty good at whatever it is you do...in fact you're (probably) under-appreciated and (certainly) under-paid, despite the fact that you're reading this from work with 30 unreal emails in your inbox and reports stacked up on your desk. We generally don't extend this same amount of genial slack towards professional athletes...our shortcomings are understated and inconsequential, theirs are unforgivable. Consider how we all dismissed Anna Kournikova during her prime. “Sure she’s hot,” we all said, generally followed with, “Too bad she sucks at tennis.” Well AK may not have won many (ok any) Tournaments but she was consistently ranked between #10 and #15 in the world over a three-year span, topping out at #8 in 1999. So as bad as you think AK was at her job, she was still better than you are at yours. Way better.

If that makes you depressed, rest assured that you are significantly better than these four guys who are currently soaking up a bile-inducing 31% of the Dodgers' total payroll this year. That ought to make you feel a little better.

1. Jason Schmidt: $12 million.


2. Andruw Jones: $9 million


3. Nomar Garciaparra: $8.5 million


4. Esteban Loaiza: $7 million

These gentlemen have accounted for essentially nothing this year and in the case of Jason Schmidt truly nothing. While it may not be fair to hold his injury against him, it’s not like he was much better before he went down anyway. Every team has dead payroll and every team has to deal with trips to the DL and under-performing stars but these numbers are sickening (notice Juan Pierre didn't even make the S List) and indicative of Ned Colletti's inability to actually pay people what they are worth. Let's not forget that he cut his teeth with the Giants and we all know the state of their organization at the moment. At what point do we have to start demanding Ned Colletti’s head?

Dodgers Trade for Angel Berroa,Rest of MLB/Universe Responds With Indifference

In a move that does not bode well for Rafael Furcal fantasy owners, the Dodgers traded Class A shortstop Juan Rivera to the Kansas City Royals for former Rookie of the Year winner/MLB washout Angel Berroa (that's him falling on his neck at left). While not quite as despicable as the deal that saw this guy get traded for 10 wood bats, this deal is probably less important than a fart in the wind.

On the plus side, Berroa can’t be any worse than Chin-Lung Hu, who had posted the ridiculously low OPS + of TWELVE, which I didn’t even know was possible (remember, 100 is league average). Berroa’s last full season in the majors came in 2006 where he was the proud owner of an OPS + of 52 and was promptly seated on the first available flight back to AAA Omaha. The lesson, as always, when you can't make the Royals' roster, you are really, really bad. Still by my math 52/17 = 3, so Berroa should be about 3 times better than Hu; sadly last I checked 3 x 0 was still 0. Get well soon, Rafael.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

Hopefully all of you have someone like the Olivas in your life. The Olivas are G Slim's older-brother's in-laws and two of the hugest Dodger/Laker/SC/UCLA fans I have ever met in my life. On any given day I probably get between 8 to 10 emails from the Olivas and the Sniders discussing everything from the Dodgers to Tiger Woods, all of which either spark some kind of controversy or encourage some good natured ribbing.

Judging by all of the back-and-forth emails you might assume that we are all good friends and see each other regularly. And you'd be half-right. I have met los hermanos de Oliva one time in my life, at an Oscar de la Hoya fight (against Felix Trinidad?) at their place in LA which must have been in either 1997 or 1998 because I remember Greg and I driving down from the dorms at UCSB to take in the fight. Sports obviously has a way of bringing us all together, even when we aren't.

Cesar took his kids to their first ever Dodger game Friday evening and had the pleasure of seeing Hideki Kuroda's dominance of the Cubs and he had this to share with us afterwards-

Just to let all of you know, we took the kids to the game last night.
Not only did the Azul win, but Little Marty Mars boy Kuroda-son went Cy Young on the Cubbies and made them look like J Snides Church softball team. That was a nice way to break my kids into Dodger Baseball. A 4 hit, 11 strike out complete game shutout.

We went to the top of the park store and bought the twins their first Dodger hats and took in the view of the field from the top deck. What a gem! That has to be one of Los Angeles most beautiful postcard snap shots.
I know the kids won't remember this, but my wife and I sure will.
Awesome night, just plain awesome.

The email and the pics got me thinking--did I remember my first game? I called my dad who told me he took me to a few games when I was a baby but those obviously never registered. The first game I can recall was a thriller against the Cardinals in either '86 or '87 and I remember the Dodgers winning either 8-7 or 7-6 thanks to some heroic pitching by Matt Young in the 9th but the details escape me. Thankfully, nothing escapes the good folks over at retrosheet.org and with a few clicks most of the details came back to me, look at this 9th inning mastery, with Young clinging to a one-run lead:

CARDINALS 9TH:
Ozzie Smith singled to center
    Pendleton singled to shortstop, Smith to third
    Clark struck out; McGee struck out; Pagnozzi struck out
    Final Score: Cardinals 6, Dodgers 7.

What retrosheet failed to record was the ecstatic eight year old boy jumping up and down into his dad's arms, a fan forever, for better or for worse.

Way to start them young, Cesar. I'll expect an email Monday morning.

Wait 'Til Next Year

About 8 or 10 years ago Baseball Tonight ran an ad featuring a Cubs Bobblehead with a voiceover intoning over and over again, “This is our year…we’re going all the way this time…this year for sure…watch out World Series, here we come…we sure do look good this year...” and the whole time the bobblehead’s beard kept getting longer and longer until eventually the head fell off entirely and rolled out of the camera’s view.

As a Dodger fan that commercial terrified me then and it still scares the hell out of me now. It’s been 20 years since the Dodgers have tasted the fruits of victory and if the current season is any indication, it’ll be at least 21 before we find ourselves deep in the post season again. What did Chicagoans think in 1928 when it had been two decades since The North Siders had captured the Fall Classic? Did they have any idea they were in for another eight decades of disappointment? To think that the Cubs' 100 seasons of futility (even though they look damn good so far this year) started innocently enough before snowballing into something of truly historic proportions means it can happen to your team too.

It can happen because draft picks don’t pan out. It can happen because the wrong free agents are signed. It can happen because bad trades are made. It can happen when runners are left on base. It can happen because of injuries. It can happen because of superior competition. It can happen because of fate.

Don't think I'm going to stop watching, there's still plenty of reasons to pay attention --Billingsley's emergence, Kershaw's debut, Russ Mart--but in all likelihood it's another case of wait 'til next year.

WEST	W	L	PCT	GB	HOME	ROAD	STRK	L10
Arizona	32	28	.533	-	21-12	11-16	Lost 3	2-8
LA Dodgers	28	32	.467	4	16-14	12-18	Lost 3	2-8
San Francisco	25	35	.417	7	13-19	12-16	Lost 2	5-5
San Diego	25	37	.403	8	15-17	10-20	Won 2	6-4
Colorado	22	38	.367	10	12-14	10-24	Won 2	2-8

It's Time For...Naaaaame Those Criminals!!!

It's all the rage, it's sweeping the nation, blah blah blah.

Tonight's clues:
* Used to be called Leatherheads, now called cellmates
* Combine agility and skill with weak alibis
* Used to be the inspiration for Any Given Sunday but now just watch the DVD in the Rec Room
* Probably wish they had this guy as their lawyer

For the answers click here (start on page 2). If you were able to name every single one please contact B Slim for you $1,000,000,000,000 prize.

Dodgers vs. Mets Recap

One win, one heart-wrenching loss, and one more run-of-the-mill-we-got-our-asses-kicked-loss, in that order. I snapped this picture of Russ Mart getting blow down at right when I took a quick cross-country flight so I could watch Johan pitch yesterday. My camera is pretty tight obviously.

WEST	W	L	GB		STRK	L10
Arizona	32	25	-		W 2	4-6
LA Dodgers	27	29	4.5		L 2	2-8
San Francisco	24	33	8		W 1	6-4
San Diego	23	35	9.5		L 1	6-4
Colorado	20	37	12		L 7	2-8

A Bad Day Surfing Beats a Good Day Blogging

I am now 30 years old. I have been cheering for the Dodgers for probably 25 of those years. Some of my earliest memories were making my own Dodger posters out of construction paper and taping baseball cards onto my bedroom walls. Since then, not much has changed and I sometimes feel weird about that. Shouldn't I care more about other things by now? I'm not exactly a kid, don't I have better things to do than watch grown men chase a ball around a field?

I'm reading "Fever Pitch" by Nick Hornby, author of "High Fidelity" and "About a Boy" which is more or less 200 essays about how much he loves soccer (of course he calls it "football" because the English are silly) in general and Arsenal (the UK equivalent of the Red Sox) in particular. Looking back on his college years, he draws a similar parallel between his lack of emotional maturity and the role that sports plays.

"I used to believe that growing and growing up were analogous, that both are inevitable and uncontrollable processes. Now it seems to me that growing up is governed by the will, that one can chose to become an adult, but only at given moments. These moments come along fairly infrequently--during crisis in relationships, for example, or when one has been given the chance to start afresh somewhere--and one can ignore them or seize them. At Cambridge I could have reinvented myself if I had been smart enough; I could have shed the little boy whose Arsenal fixation had helped him through a tricky patch in his childhood and early teens, and become somebody else completely, a swaggeringly competent and ambitious young man sure of his route through the world. But I didn't. For some reason, I hung onto my boyhood self for dear life, and I let him guide me through my undergraduate years; and thus football, not for the first or last time, and through no fault of its own, served both as a backbone and a retardant."

So at least I'm not alone. And if you're reading this then you probably get that. You know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Mild Mild West

One of my temps has the profound misfortune right now of being a Padre fan. After a wildly entertaining 2007 which saw the Pads and the Rockies tie for the NL Wild Card (with the D-Backs winning the division by a half-game!) things were really looking up for the NL West in 2008, especially when you considered the Dodgers were bringing in (cue sinister music) Andruw Jones Corpse. Yep, the ol' NL West really looked like it was on the way up, maybe it didn't boast the star power of the AL East but it projected as a four-horse race that wouldn't be settled until the final week of the season.

And then they started playing. Nearly one-third of the way through the season it looks like the D-Backs are the class of the division but even they are only 5 games over the break-even mark and have struggled since their blistering start. The three West Coast teams have been a colossal disappointment, primarily from an offensive standpoint; below is your all-California team based on the highest VORP per position, courtesy of baseballprospectus.com.

C-Russell Martin (LA)
1B-Adrian Gonzalez (SD)
2B-Ray Durham (SF)
3B-Blake DeWitt (LA)
SS-Rafael Furcal (LA)* Currently on DL
LF- Brian Giles (SD)
CF-Aaron Rowand (SF)
RF-Matt Kemp (LA)

That's not exactly Murder's Row, is it? By way of comparison, the Philadelphia Phillies infield (plus Catcher) ALONE has more HRs. The West has had the well deserved rep as a pitcher's league for the past 5 years and this year has been no different with Webb, Haren, Lincecum and Peavy all putting up excellent numbers but where are the sticks? The fact that Ray Durham is best second baseman of the bunch is flat out terrifying.

The Way, Way, Way, Way West Coast

Everyone has been getting a kick out of Mariah Carey's first pitch in Japan and I figured I'd spend a few minutes hours seeing if I could compile some sort of best/worst first pitches. You guys are so lucky to have me.

Up first: Cinci's Mayor in an absolute travesty of a mockery of a sham of manhood. The look on Eric Davis' face is priceless.

Second: How is this even possible? I've been to Petco and I don't remember having to check my testicles at the door.

Third: Unless you were simultaneously drunk, stoned, tripping, high, wasted, trashed and stupid there is absolutely no excuse for this. Ever.

Fourth: Eesh, Mariah. I'm pretty sure I heard a "sexy0" from the Japanese announcer in there somewhere. G Slim, how do you say "BALL" in Kanji?

Five: In case you had any doubts about why G Slim appreciated his time in Japan so much, click here.

Godspeed Andruw Jones, Godspeed

Early word out of LA is that AJ's surgery was a smashing success. WCBias caught up with the doctor who performed the operation (pictured at right) and asked him a few questions.

WCBias: Dr. Nick, thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet with us. AJ sure is in good hands.

Dr. Nick: Thank you very much but I'm not actually a real doctor. I made my diploma with Photoshop and I had my first name legally changed to Doctor, so I've got my bases pretty much covered.

WCBias: Well, the LA Times is reporting that everything went well during the surgery, is that your understanding as well?

Dr. Nick: Yes, correct. Other than the fact that the patient was actually dead when he was brought in there was nothing out of the ordinary.

WCBias: Prior to the surgery AJ was batting .167 with 2 home runs and 7 RBI. Let's say the surgery is a total disaster and AJ comes back a shell of his former self. How would we even know?

Dr. Nick: I can't speculate on that at this time but you raise a good point, there's no way to know.

WCBias: Were you or any of your staff at all tempted to try grafting other body parts onto AJ? Any old lady cadavers laying around you might be able to borrow from?

Dr. Nick: Like I told Joe Torre earlier today, anything like that would be highly unethical and also not covered by the Dodgers' HMO.

WCBias: Thanks for your time, Doctor. Sounds like he's in great hands.

Today's Final Score: Love for Dodgers 2, Hate for Dodgers 18

Love really took it on the chin today as Hate came out firing on all cylinders. Despite clinging to a 1-0 lead through six innings, today's game had "one of those tenuous leads that will blow up in our faces before the 7th inning comes around" written all over it. And then it did. Hate took control of the game in the 8th and I'll let Yahoo's generic play-by-play provide the details because my version of events involves words not appropriate for a family-styled blog like this one:

- R. Martin walked

- J. Pierre flied out to center

- L. Maza singled to right, R. Martin to second

- A. Ethier walked, R. Martin to third, L. Maza to second

- J. Loney struck out swinging

- M. Kemp grounded into fielder's choice, A. Ethier out at second

James Loney, buddy, I love you and all 2 RBI in the last two weeks? My Spanish is a bit rusty but I think that could be described as "muy malo". On the plus-side Tim Lincecum, my newly acquired fantasy ace, picked up a Dub in Arizona today. So I've got that going for me, which is nice.

Clayton Kershaw, The Arrival

Here's what the boys at Baseball Tonight had to say about Sliced Bread's debut last night. As you probably already know, this was an event that not only us Dodger fans but fantasy dorks worldwide were pretty excited about, and something that makes sports so fantastic. Let's be honest with ourselves, the Dodgers are not a good baseball team. The top two in their rotation have won a grand total of 1 game this month (and that coming on May 2nd). Jeff Kent looks to be just about cooked. James Loney hasn't hit for about two weeks. The highest paid player in team history is on the DL (which may not be such a bad thing, obviously). Today they left 12 men on base in a 3-1 defeat at the hands of the Cubs and very nearly caused me to throw my remote at the TV.

Someone like Kershaw gives us hope for a better tomorrow. I opted to wait 24 hours before writing about the fastball he blew past Schumaker and the jelly-leg he gave Troy Glaus in the first. Whether he ends up in Cooperstown or goes the way of one-time-prospect Edwin Jackson, having a prospect like Kershaw gives us a reason to believe. When was the last time you heard Dodger fans applauding pitches in the first inning? It's why we follow the box scores of AA teams on the other side of the country. It's why we send taunting emails to our friends who have the misfortune of being Giants fans. It's why we write blogs like this.

Photo via Kevork Djansezian / Associated Press

Man Shall Not Live By Sports Alone. There's Movies Too.

Today at work I was challenged to name my Top 10 Comedy Films of all time. I spent a good 20 minutes coming up with some titles and realized there are too many good works out there to stick with just 10, so I upped the ante to 15. Then I realized that was too low as well. Where do you put "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels"? And what of the terribly underrated "Mean Girls"? So many films and so little motivation, but here they are for your reading pleasure, my Top 20 in reverse order...
Note: I DQ'd movies about sports (so no "Bad News Bears" or "Fever Pitch" and nothing overly heart warming, which eliminates "The Princess Bride" and "Fever Pitch" again) because sports is serious business.

20. Beautiful Girls
Tracy: You look awful.
Willie Conway: I've been drunk for two weeks.

19. Three Amigos
Lucky Day: Well, we're just gonna have to use our brains.
Ned Nederlander, Dusty Bottoms: Damn it!

18. What About Bob?
Bob Wiley: What are you doing with the gun, Dr. Marvin?
Dr. Leo Marvin: Death Therapy, Bob. It's a guaranteed cure.

17. City Slickers
Mitch: Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place.

16. Caddyshack (ok so it's a sports movie, whatever)
Carl Spackler: He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.

15. Bottle Rocket
Anthony: Which part of Mexico are you from?
Inez: Paraguay.

14. The Wedding Singer
Father of the Bride: You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!
Robbie: Sir, one more outburst from you and I will strangle you with my microphone wire.

13. Dazed and Confused
Wooderson: That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.




12. High Fidelity
Rob: What if I was doing something that can't be canceled?
Laura: Rob, what are you ever doing that can't be canceled?



11. Superbad
Evan: You changed your name to McLovin?
Seth: It doesn't even have a first name, it just says McLovin!
Evan: The guy's either going think 'here's another guy with a fake ID', or here's McLovin, 25 year old Hawaiian organ donor. Okay? So what's it gonna be?
Fogell: [grinning] I am McLovin.

10. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: Allow myself to introduce... myself.

9. Anchorman
Ron Burgundy: Discovered by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means a whale's vagina.
Veronica Corningstone: No, there's no way that's correct.
Ron Burgundy: I'm sorry, I was trying to impress you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don'