Mario Mendoza Sues Andruw Jones Over Trespassing on His Line

Trespassing charges were filed today in Los Angeles County Criminal Court today against Dodgers Center Fielder Andruw Jones. The plaintiff in the case is former Major Leaguer Mario Mendoza, the owner and proprietor of the eponymous Mendoza Line. “This is all me,” Mendoza said on the courthouse steps, Dodger Stadium visible in the distance. “I’ve got records to show I was here first. If [Jones] thinks he can just come on along and hit under my line he’s got another thing coming.” Mendoza then directed all further questions to his legal team. Mendoza is represented by Richard Asswater of Asswater and Associates, LLC.

“My client is definitely the aggrieved party here,” Mr. Asswater, Esq. told WCBias when asked for comment. “Well, him and every single fan of the Los Angeles Dodgers as well. In fact, we’d like to open this up into a class action lawsuit.” Mr. Asswater has previously been involved in low-profile cases involving Peter McNeeley, Carl Pavano and Sam Bowie.

Mendoza’s suit seeks unspecified damages and also carries a lesser count of Impersonating a Major League Baseball Player. The Honorable Horatio McNulty will be presiding over the case—while technically unable to issue a statement on an open case, the words “open and shut” were plainly audible to those crowded into the packed courtroom. Neither Andruw Jones nor The Los Angeles Dodgers were available for comment.

Jones hitting it big in Las Vegas?

While I was losing all of my money at a friend’s bachelor party in Sin City this past weekend, I was reminded by friend at the Las Vegas Review-Journal that Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Andruw Jones is playing for the local minor league club.
“Good to hear I’m not the only one striking out in Vegas this weekend,” I quipped.
A.J., a one-time star who played in at least 150 games each of the past 11 years before coming to L.A., is rehabbing a knee injury and playing first base for the Triple-A Las Vegas 51s.
But it turns out Jones is actually playing pretty well for the 51s, which is more than can be said for his numbers with the Dodgers this season (.161 with three homers and 74 strikeouts in 74 games).
Entering this week’s action, Jones was hitting .385 with two home runs and two strikeouts in 13 at-bats with the 51s. He’s also trying his hand at first base for the first time. Reports suggest that Jones reaggravated his knee injury, prompting the move to the infield.
But unless he continues homering in every 6.5 at-bats, there probably won’t be any more room for him in the Dodgers' outfield now that Manny is being Manny in left.
So for now, Jones must find ways to remain preoccupied in Las Vegas – which might be difficult for a broke writer like me, but shouldn’t be too difficult for a guy who is making $35 million.

Bud Boots it Again: This Shouldn't Count

That gust of wind that startled you awake last night at 10:37 p.m. (1:37 a.m. for you poor East Coasters)? That was a giant sigh of relief from American League All-Star manager Terry Francona and MLB commissioner Bud Selig.
Francona and Selig had a real predicament on their hands during Tuesday's All-Star Game with an empty bullpen and a 3-3 tie in the 15th inning.
Luckily for both parties, Michael Young’s sacrifice fly in the 15th won it 4-3 for the American League, which improved to 6-0 since the game started deciding who gets homefield advantage in the World Series.
Had the AL Stars failed to score, both Francona and Selig would have had a tough decision on their hands. Boston’s skipper was down to his last pitcher, Rays starter Scott Kazmir, who had just thrown 100-plus pitches on Sunday.
And Selig was having flashbacks of the 2002 game, which ended in a 7-7 tie when the two teams ran out of arms.
In 2003, Selig started the “This time it counts" campaign, and the American League’s next five victories led to homefield advantage in five straight World Series.
While homefield advantage hasn’t be a huge deal in the Series the past five years (there hasn’t been a Game 7 since 2002 when the Angels beat the Giants), it’s only a matter of time before it is a decisive factor – and to have that advantage determined by a July exhibition between dozens of players who won’t even make the playoffs is ludicrous.
That’s why I was secretly rooting for a tie on Tuesday, so that Selig would have to come up with another crazy way to settle the score. (How about playing over the line? A game of pickle? Anyone up for some pepper? WiffleBall?)
Or he could let the players determine it during the season and have the team with the best record take homefield advantage in the playoff meetings – just like every other major sport out there.
But it doesn’t sound like Bud is going to budge on this any time soon.
"I didn't do it for the TV ratings," Selig told Newsday recently. "I did it to restore the intensity of the game. Before we did this, I had guys like Ron Santo and Hank Aaron coming up to me and saying, 'The All-Star Game meant so much to us.' They wanted me to do something."
Well, I wanted to go to sleep tonight at a decent hour without having to watch Dan Uggly boot three groundballs, strike out three times, and then write a blog about how lame the “this time it counts” rule is.
But I guess we can’t always get what we want, can we Bud?

TRIVIA TIME: Who was the last player to boot multiple balls in an All-Star Game?

You guessed it Dodgers fans, Nomar Garciaparra accomplished the feat in 2000.
And get this L.A. fans ... in that same game, Andruw Jones went 1 for 2 with an RBI – that’s only nine less RBIs than he has in 53 games for the Blue Crew in 2008. Well, it’s good to see Nomar is still the same player he was eight years ago.

Godspeed Andruw Jones, Godspeed

Early word out of LA is that AJ's surgery was a smashing success. WCBias caught up with the doctor who performed the operation (pictured at right) and asked him a few questions.

WCBias: Dr. Nick, thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet with us. AJ sure is in good hands.

Dr. Nick: Thank you very much but I'm not actually a real doctor. I made my diploma with Photoshop and I had my first name legally changed to Doctor, so I've got my bases pretty much covered.

WCBias: Well, the LA Times is reporting that everything went well during the surgery, is that your understanding as well?

Dr. Nick: Yes, correct. Other than the fact that the patient was actually dead when he was brought in there was nothing out of the ordinary.

WCBias: Prior to the surgery AJ was batting .167 with 2 home runs and 7 RBI. Let's say the surgery is a total disaster and AJ comes back a shell of his former self. How would we even know?

Dr. Nick: I can't speculate on that at this time but you raise a good point, there's no way to know.

WCBias: Were you or any of your staff at all tempted to try grafting other body parts onto AJ? Any old lady cadavers laying around you might be able to borrow from?

Dr. Nick: Like I told Joe Torre earlier today, anything like that would be highly unethical and also not covered by the Dodgers' HMO.

WCBias: Thanks for your time, Doctor. Sounds like he's in great hands.

Notes From Hell: AJ's Injury Edition

Jo Hiuw,

Rgus ua Abhue Timwa...

Wait sorry about that, this is Andruw again and I guess my laptop was too close to the MRI and it's garbling everything I'm trying to type. Whoops! Well, at least it's not as bad as striking out with runners in scoring position and the game on the line! Did you know I have ONE hit this season with men in scoring position and I have struck out 20 times in those situations! 20! Even I was surprised by that number! 20! Yikes!

So you may be wondering what I'm doing so close to an MRI machine, well, I've got a bit of bad news for you, my knee is bothering me. I know, I know you're thinking "What about your eyes Andruw, your eyes?!" Well, again, they tell me my eyes are fine but it's this cartilage in my right knee that is giving me troubles. Have you ever been in an MRI before? It's pretty awesome. You have to take off all of your bling because...well, because the nice nurse told me I had to. She thought I was wearing a bullet proof vest but I had to tell her I'm just a little pudgy these days. They put me in the machine and told me to lie still and they gave me some plastic coated headphones and I listened to my favorite dope jams...nothing like a little House of Pain to get you pumped up.

The doc is saying I'll probably be sidelined for about 6 weeks. I met with Ned earlier and he said not to rush back; when I walked in Ned was looking at a bunch of the contracts he'd signed since he took over and I'm pretty sure he was weeping silently to himself. Did you know we're on the hook for $7 Million for Esteban Loaiza? And I thought my deal was bad...

Andruw Jones Guest Blogs: More Notes From Hell

Hello all,

Andruw here again, blogging from hell. This last week was arguably my best week of the year, I was 3 for 16 (.300 OBP) and I even hit a home run! Yeah, the HR was tight. It was my first since...uh...well, it was my first in a while. Also I also had a two-hit game on May 14th, which is pretty bragable...that was my first one of those since...well...yeah, you know I'm not too sure on that one either. But either way, it was tight. Sorry, I'd write more but I'm supposed to call some doctor about "Liesick Surgery" whatever that is. Love you guys!
Andruw

Season Stats:
OPS+ 47 (100 is league average)
AVG: .172
OBP: .282
VORP: -6.3
HR: 2
RBI: 7
Runs: 18

AJ in the Media
From Buster Olney's Chat last week:
brian (los angeles): Buster, Andruw Jones is KILLING me here. Whats the word with scouts and talent evaluators? He finished? How long before the Dodgers give up on him?

Buster Olney: Brian: He looks awful, and the scouts who are watching him play are not assuming that he's going to bounce back. The only thing that is probably keeping him in the lineup is his contract. You hear the same stuff about him that you did when he was in Atlanta -- he looks great in batting practice, in working to hit the ball the other way, and once the games start, the anxiety overcomes his at-bats.

The Shot Heard 'Round the Internet

Shoot, I didn't believe it at first either.

LA Dodgers Inning Summary

- A. Jones homered to deep left

- A. Ethier grounded out to third

- J. Kent homered to deep left

- J. Loney tripled to deep left

- R. Martin singled to left, J. Loney scored

WCBias Proudly Announces Special Guest Blogger Andruw Jones! This Segment AKA Notes From Hell

Hi guys, Andruw here. Just wanted to update you really quickly on a few notes from the past week. First of all, I should let you know that I'm not actually typing this because, as you all know, I am totally and completely blind. I'm dictating this to our bat boy Hector, who is also in charge of cutting my food into small, bite-sized pieces after the game. You're probably wondering how I'm able to still play decent in the field despite my total lack of sight...well, you know how bats and dolphins use magic to know where food is? It's pretty much like that.

Secondly, I'm going to be checking in every weekend with my stats from the previous week, as well as any high/low lights that I feel are noteworthy. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, we've got a game here in a few hours and I need to see if Joe's got me playing today. Franky McCourt just bought a new Braille machine for the clubhouse, so I'm pretty excited about that.

My stats from Saturday May 3rd to Saturday May 10th:
3 hits in 14 trips to the plate, 2 Runs, 0 HR, 0 RBI, 0 SB, .313 OBP
Season Numbers:
HR: 1, RBI: 4, OBP: .279
Current OPS+ = 43 (League average OPS+ is 100)
Current VORP= -6.1 (The Dodgers have eight PITCHERS with higher batting VORP than AJ! EIGHT!!)
AJ in the media:
Courtesy of Keith Law of Scouts, Inc/ESPN:

Rob, Baltiimore: Do you see anything wrong with Andruw Jones?

Keith Law: He's out of shape, his bat is slow, and he plays like he's on quaaludes. Other than that, he's fine.

Dodgers Win; Jones' Hit Streak Snapped at 2

Joe DiMaggio's 56 game hit streak appears safe for the moment as AJ's bid for history ended last night at 2 games, tying him for 458,128th on the all-time list. Jones was 0-3 but shockingly failed to strike out...we will be awaiting word if anything is seriously wrong with Mets starter Oliver Perez. Despite the tragic end to Jones' streak the Dodgers pushed the Mets around and won 5-1 behind a strong performance by Chad Billingsley and a bullpen that keeps looking better and better every day.

And is it just me or is this Mets team a disappointment? The addition of Johan Santana was expected to right the ship after their stunning collapse last year and he has, for the most part, lived up to his end of the bargain with an ERA under 3.00 and allowing just one base runner per inning. The rest of the staff has been uneven—Maine and Perez have been a shade better than mediocre and they have obviously gotten nothing out of Pedro but where is the offense? Their run differential currently stands at –1 and they are averaging a mere 4.53 runs per game, less than the Florida Marlins, who are basically Hanley Ramirez + 7 League Average Guys. The Mets are near the bottom of the League in Batting Average, OPS and Slugging Percentage but oddly enough their collective OBP currently sits at a respectable sixth overall, which means there are a lot of runners left stranded on the basepaths. Sure we’re only a month into the season but when it is too late to use the “Hey, it’s still early!” excuse? Delgado looks like a shell of his former self at the plate, which is understandable seeing as how he is on the wrong side of 35 but what’s the deal with Beltran and Reyes? It’s possible the 2007 hangover is still lingering around this club but if things don’t change soon we will likely see the vultures reappear over Willie Randolph’s head.

Meanwhile, we’ll keep enjoying the strong play from the Dodgers who currently trail the D-Backs by 3 games after Greg’s man-crush Max Scherzer got blowed up last night.

Rockies Down Dodgers; AJ Held Out of Lineup Due to Case of Suckitis

The Rockies smoked the Dodgers today 7-2 and D Lowe lived up/down to his Coors Field splits, getting knocked around for 3 runs in the first. The loss snapped the Dodgers 8-game win streak and brought their successful road trip to a close. The loss also marked the first time the Dodgers had dropped a game since the creation of WCBias.com. Coincidence? I highly doubt it.

Dan Haren and the Diamondbacks also lost today to the Mets behind a strong performance from Johan Santana and remain 4 games up on LA.

AJ Update: Joe Torre was apparently not impressed by Jones' two-game hit streak and benched the pathetic horrific struggling outfielder, opting instead to start Kemp (1-4), Pierre (2-4, RBI) and Ethier (1-4, HR). Torre also noted that the LA medical staff had examined Jones’ eyes but everything checked out normal. You know things are going bad when people are wondering if you can even freaking see.

Dodgers Win Again; Andruw Jones on Fire, has 2 Game Hit Streak

The Dodgers made it eight in a row, beating up on the Rockies (again) 12-7. Our boys jumped out to a quick 6-0 lead after two innings but The Worst Pitcher I Have Ever Seen Not Named Barry Zito (TWPIHESNNBZ), Esteban Loaiza quickly gave them all right back and failed to make it out of the 3rd inning. This is the fourth straight uninspiring start for TWPIHESNNBZ and one can only wonder when the Clayton Kershaw watch will begin in earnest (how are you 0-3 with an ERA of 1.11 by the way). The bullpen pitched very well, allowing only two runs the rest of the way but TWPIHESNNBZ's failure to go deep forced Torre to tax a bullpen in need of a rest. Lowe takes the hill tomorrow and has fairly miserable career splits in Coors (0-2, ERA over 11 last year) so hopefully the boys in the pen will have a few bullets left to fire tomorrow.

AJ Update: Jones is seriously on fire right now. If you'd told me two days ago that he would have put together a sweet two-game hit streak, going a torrid 2-10 over that span, I would have laughed right in your face. AJ struck out on three pitches in the first, an at-bat bad even by his standards. He managed to see eight pitches before K'ing in his second at-bat, which I think can be described as vintage AJ at this point. After the game Psycho Lyons pined openly for Torre to bench Jones and play Kemp, Ethier and Pierre (who had another good day with 3 knocks and 2 bags) for the next few games. It's tough to really be looking for line-up or personnel changes in the midst of the club's longest winning streak since mid-2006 but he's got a point.

Arizona won as well, staying four games up on LA in the process. Brandon Webb ran his record to a sparkling 7-0 but did serve up a 3 run bomb to Carlos Delgado's corpse, which cost my fantasy team a Quality Start. Bastard.

Al Gore Announces Telethon to Save Environment & Andruw Jones’ Career

Former Vice-President and current eco-warrior Al Gore has announced he will be co-hosting a multi-national telethon designed to raise awareness of global warming, carbon dioxide emissions, pollution and Andruw Jones awful batting skills. “We see these four things as being the greatest threats to civilization as we currently know it,” Gore said in a press conference from Antarctica. “We truly are one global village, coal burned in China will bring floods to Florida, plastic bottles thrown into a stream in Oregon will choke migratory sea birds off the coast of Venezuela, runners left stranded at second base when Andruw Jones waves at another breaking ball away will never come in to score. I can’t stress how important these issues we’re facing are.” When asked which of the catastrophes are the most dangerous, Gore answered, “Global climate change and Andruw Jones are really 1A and 1B right now. Great strides have been taken to promote clean nuclear power in developing countries, lessening the need to burn fossil fuels and hybrid cars are the number one selling model of car since 2006 so real steps towards change are happening. However, Andruw Jones is still an absolute joke at the plate. We have our work cut out for us and it’s not going to be easy.”

During the telethon Gore hopes to raise $18,000,000,000; $17,999,999,971 of which will go towards developing technology which will turn dirt into clean drinking water and the other $29 will go towards the purchase of a Tom Emanski Hitting Skills Video for Andruw Jones. To pledge your support to both the Earth and Andruw Jones, please visit Gore’s website and click on the “Save the World/Andruw Jones” button.

Dodgers Never Lose; Andruw Jones Continues to Suck

The Dodgers pushed their season-high win streak to seven games, topping the Rockies 11-6 Friday evening in Colorado. At least, I'm guessing that was the final score...it's 9:30 and in the 9th inning so I'm going to put this one in the refrigerator, Chick Hearn style. The Dodgers scored all their runs in two innings, putting seven on the board in the 6th and hanging four in the 8th to put the game out of reach. Rafael Furcal and Matt Kemp knocked in four a piece, including a mammoth 3-run home run by Furcal in the 6th that appeared to put the game out of reach before Dodgers' third-baseman Blake DeWitt apparently completely forgot how to play defense in the 7th, allowing the Rockies to creep back into the affair before LA blew the doors out in the 8th. The win pushed the Dodgers to 16-13 on the season, currently 4 games behind of Arizona who actually lost a game (!) to the Mets tonight.

AJ continues to be brutal at the plate, going 1-for-5 today and actually raising his average to a paltry .161. Jones struck out 3 more times against a stunningly mediocre Rockies' staff, brining his total to 1,734 on the season. One of his K's was especially heinous, coming with one out and the bases chucked in the 6th and the Dodgers down by a run, an at-bat that looked like a rally killer at the time but DeWitt bailed him out with a clutch two-run single up the middle, followed by Furcal's bomb.

Tomorrow we're going to delve a little deeper into AJ's struggles because...well, because I can dammit.

Sweeping with the Enemy

The Dodgers ran their season-high win streak to six games today, defeating the Marlins 5-3 and completed their second-consecutive series sweep, thanks to a Marlins defense that can only be described as "piss poor." The Marlins committed three errors in today’s game, two coming on a single play in the top of the ninth that proved to be the difference in the game, as Marlins closer Kevin Gregg threw wildly to second in an effort to start a double play on a nubber off the bat of Russell Martin. Dan Uggla was able to come down with Gregg’s throw, but his momentum pulled him off the bag. He then threw wildly to first a la Chuck Knoblauch, allowing two runs to score.

Joe Torre gave the much-hated Andruw Jones the day off, starting Juan Pierre in center. Pierre chipped in with a steal and two RBI giving him 10 thus far in fairly limited time. While hardly the type of output that would cause one to do back flips, he certainly seems to be performing better than Jones at this point and writing that makes me want to puke. It looks like Torre has realized he needs to play Kemp every day and with Etheir already entrenched it remains to be seen how Torre will find time for the $80 million dollar men. Jones was 1 for 6 in the series with 3 walks, 2 runs scored and 0 RBI. Barf.