Bruno vs. Eminem? Gimme Kobe vs. D-Howard

OK, so all anyone is going to talk about Monday morning at work is Bruno, aka Sacha Baron Cohen or “Borat,” tea-bagging Eminem at the MTV Movie Awards tonight.

Yeah, I saw it: watched the MTV Movie Awards with the wifey in between doing laundry, while the rest of the hommies played a poker tournament across town: that kind of crap tends to happen when you’re married with kids.

Anywho, in case you aren’t married with kids, and have a life, you can see the Eminem-Bruno 69 video here. Cover your eyes kids.

Probably fake, but funny nonetheless. If anybody deserved that, you know Eminem had it coming.

And the best part? It  sucked the … ummm … wind? …  out of AG’s own Zac Efron’s Best “Male Performance” (fittingly named) award.

Kobe Bryant slams on Dwight Howard a couple years ago ... pre-HGH days. He's a little bit bigger today.

Anyway, since this is a sports blog: we’ll get to the NBA’s version of this: when Kobe dunked on Dwight Howards face a couple years back. Thought it would be a nice precursor to The Finals this week.

Would somebody please fast forward the week to Thursday. I can't stand life without hoops.

Here’s the video of Kobe’s dunk on Superman if the pictures aren’t enough to get you in the mood.

Wait a minute.

This whole thing also reminds me of Shaq rapping “Kobe, tell me how my ass taste.”

After the Finals, Kobe hopes to be rapping a similar tune to Shaq.

Thankfully the NBA Finals start Thursday, when Kobe goes for his first ring without Shaq, because I don’t know how much more of these crappy posts you or I can take.

Update on the Finals odds

According to the fine journalists I’m sure over at casinogamblingweb.com, The Lakers are favored at -290 to win the series.

The Magic have betting odds of +240.

Host Los Angeles is favored by six in Thursday’s opener, with the total for the game initially listed at 206, according to the site.

Not sure what all that means? Me either. In Layman’s Ralph Lawler terms, they’re 2-5 favorites to win, according to Las Vegas Sports Consultants, which advises Nevada sports books on betting lines.

At those odds, a winning $100 bet on the Lakers would return a $40 profit (Beau C and RK).