Much to do about 'dos

Is it just me, or is there some ugly basketball going down in the Eastern Conference? Maybe I’m just blinded by all of the bad tattoos and hideous hairdos out East, where three of the four first-round series were still undecided heading into Thursday’s action. The series have been close, but the brand of basketball being played is anything but hair-raising.
That being said, we bring you the first annual WCBias.com All-Postseason Hair Club for Men Team – a.k.a. the dudes with the worst ’dos in the playoffs this year:

FIRST TEAM
Center
Samuel Dalembert, 76ers
Chuck Liddell can pull the mohawk, even Mr. T made it cool, but the frohawk just isn’t getting it done Dalembert. It’s the worst ’hawk I’ve seen since Atlanta traded for Isaiah Rider and later cut the alleged kidnapper before the season was even up. It’s not the ugliest mohawk I’ve seen, Al Harrington (right) takes that title, but it’s up there. Thankfully the Detroit Pistons knocked Dalembert’s ’do and the 76ers out of the playoffs on Thursday.
Guard
DeShawn Stevenson, Wizards
DeShawn’s stupid comments about LeBron James, calling the league’s most overwhelming player its most “overrated,” his swipe at LeBron's head (right), not to mention the mini mohawk and nappy beard, put him over the hump. And since the Wizards’ jerseys look like something out of the WNBA or the developmental league, he makes the team just for poppin’ his collar in that repulsive gold getup. And as far as the “overrated” comments go, coming into tonight’s game there’s no comparison. Stevenson is averaging 12.8 points, 3.0 assists and 2.2 rebounds. LeBron is averaging more than double those numbers at 30.4 points, 6.6 assists and 8.8 rebounds, and he doesn’t have a jacked up ’do or uni to speak of.
Forward
Anderson Varejao, Cavaliers
To DeShawn’s credit, at least his ’do is new and isn’t as played out as Anderson Varejao’s. When I watch the Cavs play, I can’t help but think I’m watching an episode of The Simpsons, with Varejao playing the role of Sideshow Bob. I guess that makes LeBron Krusty the Clown. For those still reading this convoluted hair piece, The LeKrusty the Clown Show airs tonight at 4 p.m. with LeKrusty putting the smackdown on DeShawn to wrap up the series.
Forward
Brian Skinner, Suns
Well, I guess the bad ’dos make it out west, too, if you take Brian Skinner’s goatee into consideration. And this is coming from a blogger who has a naturally red goat on his chin. Skinner’s half orange, half black version, however, is just plain outdated. George Clinton is the bomb and all, but there’s a reason he’s not playing in the NBA. Skinner’s look works for the P-Funk Era, problem is, that era ended two decades ago. I guess it’s fitting, though, since the time has passed Skinner and the Suns, too, thanks to Timmy, G-Dog and Mr. Longoria.
Guard
Damon Jones
And last but not least, little-used Damon Jones makes the list for two reasons. There aren’t many guards with bad ’dos (mostly just those stiffs in the frontcourt), and well, Cleveland fans are so hard up for a title these days they actually started a petition in hopes of keeping Jones from cutting his mohawk – thinking it would help them bring that poor city a title. I’m not even sure if Jones has the mohawk anymore, since the guy never sees the court, but mohawk or not, D.J. makes the list because he and petitioning Cleveland Fan are annoying.

HONORABLE MENTION
Chris Bosh, Toronto Raptors
Bosh and his twisties, or whatever you call those things, literally just missed the cut because too many big men out there need to visit the barber shop. It’s hard to rip on Bosh, because he’s playing in Toronto without whining about having to play in Toronto (Tracy McGrady, Vince Carter). Did I mention the guy has to play in Toronto? Yes, Toronto. Apparently they play basketball in Canada. Despite playing in Toronto, Bosh led his team to the playoffs this season. Oh yeah, and he had a funny YouTube video, making his pitch for the All-Star Game, so that outta be worth something.
Pau Gasol, Los Angels Lakers
Sorry RK, but your boy needs to do something about that beard. Guy has more hair on his neck than the rest of the Lake show has on its head. Even Phil thinks he’s due for a little shave under the chin. Thing is, Gasol helped my fantasy squad go from worst to first in the final month of the season, so he’s not quite first-team material just yet.
Andrei Kirilenko, Utah Jazz
Same goes for Kirilenko, another forward who just missed the starting lineup. The flat-topped one was on the fantasy team, too, so I have to give him a reprieve. Kind of like his wife does each year when she gives him a shank-a-skank pass. I still don’t get what that’s all about.