JACKED

If you are reading this, you are one of 3 types of people: a) contributor to the site, there are only 4 of us if you can even count me, b) possibly a friend of one of the contributors, but I seriously doubt that, or c) some dude looking for porn that somehow ended up here.

Either way there is no point in writing anything of substance here because you aren't reading it, and I really don't have anything brilliant to say anyways, however, with the recent arrest of Cedric Benson (that's him to the left, what the hell happened on that boat anyways?) and the soon to be arrested Marvin Harrison, I just can't get over how pathetic and stupid these NFL footballers have become.

Let me see, you have millions of dollars, play a freakin' sport for your job, probably get more ladies then you know what to do with, work about half the year (did I mention you get to play a sport for living?), and you just can't get out of the way of yourself. I heard Mike Florio on the Dan Patrick show say that over the past 3 years, the longest the NFL has gone without a player being arrested is 27 days!!!!!!! Can you believe that?

At best, one player every month is arrested that plays in the National Football League. I'm mediocre to horrible at math, but that does not seem good. I wonder how long it would have to take for every player in the league to get arrested?? Without looking at the mean data, let's just assume on average one player every 20 days is arrested. (I'm sure it's the same guys over and over getting hassled, but for fun let's just assume everyone only gets jacked once). There are 45 active players on each team every week. The league has 32 teams, that is a total of 1,440 total players. If only one player gets arrested every 20 days, it would take 28, 800 days, or around 79 years for the entire league to get jacked. On second thought, that doesn't seem so bad. Carry on boys.