West Coast Bias Sports Blog

What, does AP's photographers work for the Dodgers too? Guess everyone does love Manny. Welcome back indeed. You definitely make it worth watching MannRam.

The other day Pembertonian was giving me crap, calling me a “homer” because I was talking about how much I love my job while he wallows in the self-pity that comes with working in the newspaper biz.

It was the first time in a long time someone could actually call me a homer, because if you’ve read this blog, as a dozen people have, you know I hate pretty much everything. Yeah, not a glass-half-full kind of guy.

Hate the town I live in. Hate the high school and college I went to. Hated pretty much every job I’ve had until now. Heck, I hate myself.

If I played in the XFL, I’d be “B Hate Everybody.”

Speaking of hate, I hate TV “journalism” and morons that broadcast a lot of our sporting events.

Fox, Homer love them some Manny.

We already knew Homer was a Manny/Isotopes fan, but how about the crew at Fox Sports Net/Prime Ticket or whatever they’re calling it these days? Public Enemy No. 1, Manny Ramirez comes to the plate for his first at-bat since being suspended 50 games for failing a drug test, and FSNPT’s ace cameramen couldn’t find any negativity at Petco. The 10 signs they showed, all hearted Manny. Welcome back Manny. Missed you Manny. You da Man Manny.

Same thing in his second and third at-bat, nothing but cheers and Mannywood signs.

Yeah, that same San Diego crowd that threw syringes at Bonds had nothing but love for Manny – yeah, and I love reading boxscores of WNBA games.

While we’re being all positive like these idiots on our televisions, let’s take a second and reflect on how awesome life on the Left Coast has been the past couple days:

• Manny is back.
• Phil Jackson is back.
• Ron Artest is crazy wearing purple and gold.
• Sarah Palin is out.

The Worm and The Artest have a lot in common. They're both crazy.

Really, does it get any better than that?

But just so you know I haven’t lost my glass-half-emptiness. Is it just me, or does this Ron Artest move scare Laker Nation? RK, your thoughts?

Kind of reminds me of another wack-job defensive/rebounding headcase the Lakers signed a few years ago.

Yeah, how’d that work out?

Only in Mannywood baby.

Happy Fourth to all the WCBias peeps!

Oh, snap.

I was getting ready to write a snarky blog about Khalil Greene being on the DL for anxiety disorder — you know, saying, like, how can I get that same deal at my work — or perhaps even a blog entry about how lame those baseball game replays are (Why the “due to time restrictions, we now skip to . . .” when there’s nothing but poker on afterward?) when the big BIG news hit:

That’s right — I just saved a lot of money with Geico.

No, wait. That’s not true. And, besides, it’s an old and overused joke. That was never really good to begin with.

What I’m talking about is, of course, Trevor Ariza going to the Rockets.

No, no — just yanking your chain again. I mean, yeah — that’s true and all. But the bigger news is RON ARTEST GOING TO THE LAKERS!

I heard this and was like: “Really?” Because I was like: “Didn’t the Lakers just WIN the championship?”

Granted, you could argue that Artest — with his fracas at Detroit — single-handedly dismantled the Pacers the year they had the best shot at winning it all. (The Pacers have pretty much sucked since that game.) And you could argue that even before the Pacers, Artest was a troublemaker with the Bulls. (Remember the camera he demolished?) But still.

The guy’s good. And on the Lakers? He’s gonna be real good. 

Given that no one in the West was really close to challenging the Lakers this year (Let’s be honest, Nugget fans), a repeat to the finals seems a given. Boston with KG will be much better, and I do think the aging, pudgy Shaq will make the Cavs better. But really — do they have a chance?

No. Of course not. So let’s just call off the 2009-10 season and declare L.A. repeat champs. That way Artest will have more time to record another lame hip-hop album.

Heart of a Lion, Arm of my Sister

Raise your hand if you made it to the end of the Dodger game last night.  Yeah, don’t feel bad, I didn’t either.  It was a long day, man—full of spray painting Ikea furniture and you know, that whole work thing.  So by the time the 12th inning had rolled around the Dodgers showed absolutely no inclination of coming up with a big hit I had to call it an evening and headed off for bed.  Of course I missed Ethier’s walk-off job in the bottom of the 13th which is a downer, especially given the magnitude of this series.  Wait, what’s that BG?  You’re talking about the magnitude of a Dodgers-Rockies series in June?  Have you totally lost it? Look, this is a big deal, relatively speaking at least.  The Dodgers are coming off of two-straight losing series (their first back to back skid of the year), the Rockies are breathing fire (winners of 20 out of their last 23 coming into last night) and the Giants are playing like freaking world beaters right now (Kruk said on BBTN they’re the 6th best team in all of baseball and I think he’s right).  If the Dodgers drop 2 out of 3 to Colorado here suddenly things are getting a little tight at the top, no?

And since I missed The Beefcake’s walk-off my takeaway from last night is The Weave opening-and-shutting the door last night on the 10th.  Recap from Yahoo! sports:

Top 10th: Colorado – J. Weaver relieved J. Broxton (Filet mingon or McDonalds cheeseburger? Um…yeah, cheeseburger please)
- R. Spilborghs doubled to deep center (Santa Barbara represent)
- C. Iannetta singled to left, R. Spilborghs to third (You do NOT want to gamble on Juan Pierre’s arm, trust me)
- C. Gonzalez hit for J. Rincon (No comment)
- C. Gonzalez struck out swinging (Sit)
- C. Iannetta to second on fielder’s indifference (More pressure on the infielders says Vinny)
- D. Fowler struck out looking (Sit.  And thank you for the generous call, Blue)
- C. Barmes struck out swinging (Sit. And The Weave does a little double-arm-fist-pump)

You know what?  Me and The Weave had the exact same reaction on that last swing and miss.  Exact same.

Remember the old comic book character Man-E-Faces? That split personality remind you of any other blue, super-hero-like characters by the same name?

So Manny Ramirez is set to return Friday after his suspension for using female fertility drugs – they don’t allow that kind of stuff in California any more.

It’ll be interesting to see what kind or reception he gets around the Majors, from opposing players, fans, media, etc. But that’s not what I’m most interested in watching, because, well, we’ve been through with dozens of players who used performance enhancers and will see it probably a hundred other times in our lives.

I’ve said it before and will say it again, until they rid the game of HGH, and at least test for it, you can’t point the finger at just Manny – because I guarantee a majority of the players in the major American sports are on the stuff. Manny just happened to get caught with his pants down, using a female fertility drug to counteract what the PEs do.

I mean, who doesn’t want to get their female fertility on anyway? Heck, my wife’s probably on the stuff, pregnant again despite the fact we have a two-year-old running the house like she’s a She-Ra The Princess of Power or something.

Speaking of He-Man/comic-book spinoffs, it’ll be interesting to see which of the Manny Faces shows up this weekend.

Like the old He-Man friend/foe and comic book character Man-E-Faces (of The Ordeal of Man-E Faces fame), whose head switches from robot, to human, to monster without notice, Manny has been known for his split personality over the years.

1. There’s Happy-Go-Lucky Manny, who led the Red Sox to their first World Series in a trillion years, took the damn Dodgers to the postseason last year, and was mashing this season before the fertility Gods struck down on him.
2. There’s Disgruntled, I Hate Boston Manny, who refused to run out fly balls or hustle in the outfield in his final weeks with the Red Sox.
3. There’s Fertility Manny, worried about the size of his boys instead of his boys … in … umm … Blue?
4. There’s Disappearing Manny, who, when suspended, disappeared and was nowhere to be found much of the time.
5. There’s also Albuquerque Isadope Manny (3 for 10, HR, 2 runs during Manny being Minor week), farming it out with everyone from the Rhode Island ‘Roid Ragers and the Idaho Injectors, to the Delaware Dingleberries.

The Dodgers, who have been one of the NL’s best teams this season, are hoping for No. 1, obviously, not that Manny The Dodger Dingleberry doesn’t have a nice ring to it.

Could you imagine how good this team would be if Manny were to pick off where he left off?

But is that even possible?

Users like A-Roid (now known as MIA-Rod), HG(iambi)H and What Would J.C. Romero Do? (I don’t know, maybe beat up a fan?) all struggled in their return after it was leaked that they had taken PEs.

There are just too many questions, too many hecklers, too much drama that surrounds the return to the field. But, if anyone could shrug that stuff off, you know Manny could.

His, Manny Being Manny attitude and ability to remain oblivious to the outside world could just work to his and the Dodgers’ benefit this season.

I guess we’ll find out which of the Mannys we’ll be faced with starting Friday in San Diego … Next T-shirt coming to a WCBias near you? FREE JUAN PIERRE!

Stu Being Stu

Stu Scott is the worst.  He is worse than the worst.  He is worse than a Chris Berman-Joe Morgan lovechild.  Does he even watch sports?  Do they let him out of the studio just so he can drop nuggets like: “Just think about the players that Shaq has played with: Anfernee Hardaway, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, LeBron James.”  Wow.  Just, wow.  Thank you for stopping the world so we can melt with that profound profoundness.  And let’s not forget his “Shaq plus LeBron equals NBA Championship!” outburst that was immediately buried by the rest of the panel.  You know, the people that are actually experts (with the exception of Mark Jackson who said that Vince Carter is superior to Hedo Turk in every capacity.  By my count VC does have a commanding lead in Sulking, Cry Babying, Injurying, Quitting, and Pouting.).

But enough of the negative negativism.  The NBA Draft is easily one of the best nights of the entire year-we’ve got trades and rumors of trades, scuttlebutt, great highlights and no Craig Sager, so there’s really no downside at all.  I was of course expecting the Clippers to F-up the first pick and take Taylor Griffin instead of Blake but Dunleavey came through in the clutch like only he can and properly used his telephone.  Nice going, Mike.  I am interested to see what the Clippers are going to do with this embarrassment of riches in the front court…it’s too bad the League is in such a financial mess because there’s so much talent that’s going to be languishing on benches that expansion would make sense from a talent standpoint.  Van Gundy may have had the quote of the night before the draft started with his “there’s only about 9-10 teams actually trying to win it and about 20 that are just trying to save money” comment.  Sad but true.

Besides Griffin, who (admit it) may very well have the best NCAA highlight reel of all time, I’m really interested to see what happens with Rubio-G. Snide and I sent emails to each other at the exact same time yesterday with the exact opposite sentiments about him, GS coming with, “Love Rubio, he could end up being really special” and me saying, “he could be a total and complete Ray Felton/TJ Ford semi-bust.”  I really want to like him and since he’s only 18 we have to assume he hasn’t hit his ceiling but I’m skeptical about PGs that can’t shoot and are going to be expected to contain the best athletes in the world on the defensive end.  As much as I would like to see the next Pistol Pete or Steve Nash I don’t think someone who might shoot 40% and be a defensive liability is ever likely enough to get enough minutes to be a star in the NBA.

And even though there is a 99% chance I end up missing the USA/Brazil game Sunday morning (11:00 our time, ESPN) make sure you set your DVRs accordingly…we are going to lose the tornado-inside-of-a-volcano match but it’s an honor just to be nominated.

Homer, waiting for Manny to get a hit,

So what if he was hitless — Manny Ramirez’s presence with the triple-A Albuquerque Istopes is already drawing fans to the Dodgers farm club.

Check out Homer Simpson here, all ‘Toped up for Manny.

Okay, so actually, Homer was rooting for the Springfield Isotopes, the fictional team that nearly moved to — get this — Albuquerque.

It’s not really that much of a coincidence. After Albuquerque lost its longtime minor league club, the Dukes, to Portland, a team from Canada moved to New Mexico. Fans were then allowed to vote for the team name, and 67 percent opted for the Simpsons-inspired Isotopes.

On “The Simpsons,” Homer was briefly a mascot for the Isotpes. In the Albuquerque episode, Homer went on a hunger strike to keep the Isotopes in Springfield.

Coming Soon to a Stadium Near You

It’s July 16rd, 2009.  You’re sitting in the Lower Reserve at Chavez Ravine on a warm Los Angeles summer’s night; bottom of the first inning-Furcal has reached on a drag bunt to the left of the pitcher, followed by the O-Dog ripping a hit-and-run single into right center (Furcal advancing to third).  There’s a buzz through the stadium, all the heads turn towards the on-deck circle and the voice over the PA drones, “Batting third, left-fielder…Manny Ramirez.”

And the crowd goes…what?  Wild?  Silent?  Boos?  Cheers?  As a Dodger fan I will be off my nut happy to get his bat back in the lineup.  The team has been good/great without him but there is a GAPING HOLE in the middle of the order…the 5th spot in the Dodger lineup is batting something like .255 on the season with ZERO homeruns.  As a baseball fan how are we supposed to react though?  Bonds got booed everywhere he went outside of San Francisco.  Palmiero is a pariah, Sosa is a joke and A-Rod can’t get out of the way of himself-so what happens to Manny?  I’d expect most of Dodgertown will be onboard and Manny will be welcomed back with open arms…the lesson being as long as your players cheat for your team it’s not a problem.

On the road’s another story.  Who knows what Manny did but if you’re the Cubs and he almost single-handedly knocked you out of the postseason last year (even though that team played with 0 energy and deserved to lose), you’re pissed.  If you’re the 2007 Rockies and got steamrolled by the Red Sox in the World Series you’re pissed.  Essentially everybody is pissed, except me and I’m guessing you, if you’re still reading this.  And if you’re reading this you are probably aware that Manny’s tune-up beings now.

Lastly, as of this moment, it looks like we’ll have a winner-take-all Game 3 in Omaha tomorrow night (again, if Texas holds on here).  These games have been amazing and having been to The Big O twice while the CWS was in town I can’t recommend it highly enough.  Dating girls from Nebraska is not recommended, however.

Ever since he was stricken by an act of nerd terrorism — in the form of a nasty virus — Pembertonian has been holed up in a bunker, thinking of a plan to extract revenge. But so far the only thing he has thought of is the term Wedgies of Mass Destruction.

Perhaps it’s that failure to come through that caused his superiors at work to recently pass on him for a promotion. (Fifteen years of experience? NOT priceless.)

It’s okay, though, because Pembertonian bounced back with a plan. As he told BSlim, he went home, wrote out all his ambitions and dreams on a piece of paper, burned them in his fireplace, then buried the ashes in his front lawn.

Because all that stuff they say about “You can do anything you want if you work hard enough?”

Buncha crap.

Because, really, you always, always, ALWAYS have to have someone give you a break. And, well, Pembertonian is in a bigger slump than David Ortiz in the spring. Except Pembertonian’s slump began in 1991.

So Pembertonian has decided to take on a very Dude-like existence, not worrying about trivial things like success, bills and that mythical notion of The American Dream.

And he’s decided that energy once channeled into ambitious things will now be directed toward surfing.

That’s right — surfing.

In surf tribes, the feeling you get from the physical act of surfing is often called The Stoke. And for many the Stoke can do what Prozac, Xanax and all those other anti-depressants cannot: It takes your troubles, squishes them like a can crusher, and stores them deep in the back of your brain so that only a failure to achieve the Stoke — or significant head trauma — can bring the troubles back to your conscious brain.

So, ah . . . what was I saying?

Oh yeah — The Stoke. After years of getting rejected in several facets of life, Pembertonian has committed himself fully to achieving the Stoke on a regular basis.  In turn, he has given up all ambition.

Even in his unambitious creative life, he has dedicated himself to the Stoke, as in the cave art-inspired painting above.

Of course, it might be his last piece of art since painting more than one piece might be construed by some as ambitious. In fact, Pembertonian will only continue to write for WCBias if he can be demoted to Junior Blogger and if it can be shown that his blog posts are actually decreasing traffic.

Worthy of the NBA's Top 50.

Slam recently announced its updated list of The New NBA Top 50 players, which brings on some interesting names and drops off a few legends from the NBA at 50 “Greatest NBA Players of All-Time” list – which was unveiled some 13 years ago.

In honor of those fallen greats, WCBias brings you the “Greatest NBA Players You Shouldn’t Forget” Team.

(For the record, these guys were replaced by some pretty darn good players on Slam’s updated list, which includes Allen Iverson, Bob McAdoo, Dennis Rodman, Gary Payton, Jason Kidd, Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, Steven Nash, Tim Duncan, Dominique Wilkins and Walt Bellamy.) I think you can question the addition of Dennis Rodman, and then whittle that list of guards (A.I., GP, JK and Nash) down to two to keep James Worthy, Pistol Pete, Robert Parish and Sam Jones or one of the other legends on the Slam list. I’m also not sure on the old editions of McAdoo, Wilkins and Bellamy (is that Bill’s brother?), but all in all, it’s a pretty solid list by the guys at Slam.

That said, here’s a closer look at those NBA legends who didn’t make this year’s Top 50 Greatest Players, but shouldn’t be forgotten:

(more…)

Kobe Celebrates!

I’ve gotten some flack for not writing about the Lakers amazing run to the 2009 championship. But really what is there to say, I knew they would do it all year! (honestly there were moments I had my doubts. Just ask BSlim.)

The Lakers were tested in the second and third round against Houston and Denver. Laker fans must give those two teams credit for kicking the Lakers into high gear and preparing them for the finals matchup against the Magic. Many of us were surprised that the Lakers weren’t facing the Cavs or Celtics in the final round but the Magic had a terrific run in the eastern round but couldn’t hang against the depth of the Lakers.

There are a lot of questions to be answered for next year. Can the Lakers repeat? Is Phil Jackson going to come back for the final year of his coaching contract? Can the Lakers resign Lamar Odom and Trevor Ariza? Should the Lakers consider upgrading the point guard position?

So many questions to be answered but nobody needs to worry about that for a couple of weeks. Let the Lakers Nation enjoy what is and will always be the greatest team in the NBA!